Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity....

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 064

You deserved it 59 341

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

ADHD brain

By Unknown - 18/10/2011 04:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 937

You deserved it 6 402

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 325

You deserved it 38 090

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 333

By Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 391

You deserved it 6 349

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 322

You deserved it 38 286

Not a great start

By anon - 05/06/2021 02:01

Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 218

Committed

By gottacatchemall - 08/01/2014 05:43 - United States

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 854

You deserved it 29 010

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 5 520

Absolute beginners

By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 276

You deserved it 6 969

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 045

You deserved it 6 089

Miss_Michaela 10

Saturday 10 March 2012 15:58

'Please insert Appendage P into Hole V'.

suitgirl5 5

Saturday 10 March 2012 16:00

If you don't know how to have sex or have an understanding of how it works at all you are too young to be doing it.

Comments

jonathanje2 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 8:40

If your age is on the clock you're to young for the ****

barrett52 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 8:58

Happened to me but I didn't give up!!!! Hang in there!

mitchf32 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 9:00

Your both retarded as **** then. Grow up. How old are you 7?? When I was 7 I didnt even know what making out was. You bastards

mrsbieber1994 1

Sunday 11 March 2012 9:08

It's so simple! 1. She opens her legs 2. Make sure she is wet. 3. Make sure u r hard. 4. Slowly insert penis into right hole. Maybe u guys were having a hard time because it wasn't going in right away. U gotta go slow and take baby steps. It's not gonna slip right in! But yeah if u r that stupid u r too young

xgetxbentx 13

Sunday 11 March 2012 10:42

...ydi, seriously, it's not that complicated, if you guys couldn't figure it out then you are far from being ready for sex. You guys both need to go home and have "the talk" with your parents and probably check out planned parenthood to try and find a sex ed class.

friisen_ 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 11:17

Everyone knows how. It's called instinct.

SoultheWolf 19

Sunday 11 March 2012 11:32

I don't mean to be rude here, but it is not hard to figure out how to have sex... If you couldn't, then I honostly don't think you are ready to be having it. You two sound like you are 10!