By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 064
You deserved it 59 341
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Top comments

suitgirl5 5

If you don't know how to have sex or have an understanding of how it works at all you are too young to be doing it.

1139 26

Comments

DocBastard 38

OP, don't listen to all these assholes who are saying you're too young or you're idiots or you should know by now. They aren't helping you - but I will, because I'm a nice guy. When you want to have sex, you both spin around 14 times, and he then puts his left 4th finger in your belly button. You put your right foot on his left thigh, chant "Wakamaka wakamaka" until you feel lightheaded and BOOM! that's how sex is done. You're welcome.

185 12
The_Hitdude 12

I'm Herp McDerpington, and I approve this message. Now back to your regularly scheduled program, "Teen Moms"...

34 0
Llamacod 11

Ohhh, its wakamaka. That's what I've been doing wrong. I've been saying wanaminga and we couldn't figure out what we've been doing wrong. Thank you doc for clearing that up for us

28 0
EG14_fml 8

I was gonna thumbs up this comment but right now the number is 69 and I dont wanna change that...

6 13
Birdie_Sage 0

^ same! Wakamaka? LOL

1 6
rubberduckie94 13

Finally a doctor came along with the details. Now run along op and try again.

10 0
MaryAnne19 5

Ya. Thats not sex. Thats some freak ritual from family guy

1 5
perfectheart735 0

no. *******. Duh. Ever heard of joking around?

3 0
andrewsgirl2010 7

If you honestly wasted 30 minutes tryin to figure out how to have sex, dont try it again. Your obviously to young to know what your getting into

16 3
kerr888 0

Says the person getting ready to get it in on his profile picture

1 1
andrewsgirl2010 7

Thats my wedding photo thanks.

1 0
DjeePee 24

Wow, everyone here is so harsh on the OP. Seems like 90% of the FML'ers were immediately sexperts. I know that when I was about to lost my virginity, we spent 5 minutes (felt like an eternity) trying to put it in. Yeah, he had an erection. Yeah, I was wet. Yeah, it was the right hole. But it still went difficult and no, we were not too young. This being said, 30 minutes is way too long. So, OP, may I suggest some foreplay? If he can insert a finger, it should also work with a penis. Just try to let it be spontaneous.

25 17
Ameel_fml 19

Same here. I knew all about sexed when I lost my virginity, but it still took my boyfriend and I a couple of times to "insert tab A into slot B" so to speak. We kept lining up our bodies wrong, and getting into odd positions, and his penis would miss the hole completely. It was a silly mess, but at least we had fun figuring it all out! Hell, even years later I still make mistakes in the bed sometimes. I still have bad sex sometimes. It happens. No biggie. Just try again another time. :)

11 8
xgetxbentx 13

Okay, see here's the difference, you guys weren't trying to figure out how, you were trying to get it inside. You knew what to do. Even after losing your virginity it can take a few minutes to get it going, especially if the girl is tight. Taking a few minutes to line it all up, and to attempt to gently break a hymen, is completely normal. Taking a half hour to try and even figure out how, is not. Obviously they weren't educated enough on how sex works to be doing it, because even without foreplay, when you know what you're doing and what goes where, your body is able to just kind of naturally align itself with your partner's body and get into position. You don't have to be a "sexpert" to know how to lose your virginity.

3 0
JadeWalker 14

About to *loose* my virginity. Not lost.

0 3
perdix 29

The human race just breathed a sigh of relief.

53 2
rlet 1

Thats why you don't plan, it just happens....

3 3
muffinXmonster 12

You guys must have missed the orientation video

9 1
thisbitchlys 0

ive known how to have sex since i was little...

8 32
morganmorgan 0

You want a cookie..?

22 1
Fkeeler97 0

#50..... Your name is (thisbitchlys) and you think I believe you? I mean come on.....

4 0
aleishaa_jadee 13

Not so sure that's something to be proud of..

3 0
maackenzie 9

Well it's not too hard to figure out what goes where.

1 0
kerr888 0

Well arent you just a smart little cookie?

1 0
TurdFurgeson04 3

If you don't know how to have sex, then you're definitely too young for it. It's not hard to understand. Smh

3 2
MargieDrury 1

Sex can come into different categories.

9 1
mikeymayhem_87 15

In their case, the "no sex" category seems fitting

9 0
MargieDrury 1

^mhm! At the most oral sex if they want to accomplish something in the lines of sex.

2 0
ladylilly25 20

Ah, either the OP is copying the previous FML about being unable to figure out sex, or the children of the world are becoming incredibly dumb. I sincerely hope it's the former.

4 0