By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 064
You deserved it 59 341

Same thing different taste

Top comments

suitgirl5 5

If you don't know how to have sex or have an understanding of how it works at all you are too young to be doing it.

Comments

Don't be a fool, and hopefully you know how to wrap your tool!!

afunnyterdcody 5

Don't be a dummy cum on her tummy

doogy15 11

She can't get prego if she's on top, just let gravity do its work :3

#79- Let's us know how that worked out for you in 9 months, I'm sure there won't be ANY surprises. ;)

#79 was just joking people quit raping him with thumbs down and get a sense of humor

#132 - Where does it say he's joking? Maybe he was kidding and I didn't catch on, but I sure hope it's just a joke. That was one of the most ignorant things I've heard in a while.

He was definitely joking. I've heard that on a tv show. I think it was always sunny in Philadelphia but in any case it was a comedy.

I've heard that on knocked up. They said she should have been on top because of gravity. It's incredibly stupid but I assume that's where he got it from.

You seriously need some sex Ed of your own if you believe that

And now I'm getting raped haha Seriously people it was a joke and I felt bad for him. It is a common joke people like to say regarding sex and if anyone didn't get it may I recommend getting friends?

132: Stop. Rape isn't funny. Don't take it lightly like that.

Dear God, everyone needs a sense of humour. Saying I'm getting raped is no different then saying I'm feeling retarded or worked harder than an illegal Mexican immigrant at a senators house on a Sunday afternoon. Geez get over it.

196: No. I can almost guarantee that there's at least one woman in your life who has been sexually assaulted. It's not a joke.

So?? Dark comedy is the best kind of comedy.

182-I think it's time you learned the difference between "figuratively" and "literally."

MargieDrury 1

If people are taking rape as a "dark joke". Or something try to be nice and considerate of people around it can hurt the feelings like if you say ****** around a black person they take it offense but the gravity thing is a joke it was funny stop crying.

If you can't figure it out that you're clearly not ready. Also OP let's hope you know to use some form of birth control because "pulling out" isn't one.

jab7769 8

Always worked for me stick it in for awhile pull out and have her open her mouth and bam no kid. Lol I know this will get thumb down Idc still enjoy my sex my way.

If your girl hasn't gotten pregnant because you use the "pull-out" method, it's not because it's working but because you're quite lucky. As soon as you're hard, sticking it in can get a girl pregnant regardless of whether you come or not.

jab7769 8

Yup precum and told u it get thumb down

Oh dude 28 you must have so much sex you're the man.

natepooch 4

for all the uneducated...pre-cum contains roughly 750,000 sperm cells compared to the 300,000,000 released during ejaculation...and even with 300 million the ability to become pregnant can be quite difficult. Also if the kid is too young to know what to do...say 14, he would only be releasing around 50 million. And statistically of the 672 hours in a normal menstrual cycle, on 24-36 of those hours can the girl get pregnant so if takedown it blindly the chances of you having sex in that time period is 6% ...also withdrawal is a form of birth control, just not an efficient one

natepooch 4

ughhh butchered myself -____- it should say "take a blind shot" and "chance of conceiving" not having sex

julialinn 2

28, no one cares about your sex life. And pulling out doesn't work because there's premature ejaculation

Kwolfe 7

They actually did a study maybe 6 months ago that showed the pull out method was very effective if used CORRECTLY. The problem is when you can't control yourself and bust all inside your girl.

natepooch 4

134, premature ejaculation is a completely separate disorder in which one ejaculates prior the physical sensation of ******. Pre-cum the term you are thinking of is the release of a small amount of seminal fluids in preparation of ejaculation

tdawg4200 0

Regardless of how many sperm cells are in precum/ejaculate, it only takes ONE to get a girl knocked up. Pulling out was invented by Catholics to make more Catholics.

natepooch 4

you have know idea how hard it is to be a sperm, like I said even with hundreds of millions of sperm many couples still have great difficulties getting pregnant

76transam 0

113 spends too much time on google

twisted_cherub 14

113-While all that may be true, there are some factors which make the rhythm method (as it is called) less effective. A woman is more sexually charged during ovulation (those 24-36 hrs of fertility) and releases pheromones which make men around her want to have sex with her more. Also, pulling out takes a lot of control (I hear). So with all the teen pregnancy now days, relying on young/inexperienced people to have that much self-control is not a great way to ensure safe sex. Plus, PULLING OUT DOES NOT PROTECT FROM STIs, people! Over 50% of American women have been infected with a strain of HPV, which can lead to cancer and infertility. Not to mention the millions living with HIV & AIDS, or herpes, syphilis, and many more. Why does everyone think pregnancy is the only reason to be safe?

If you don't know how to have sex, you're probably too young to try it. Wait a few years.

There ovbiusily not 5 otherwise they wouldn't be able to write this.

xocellaox 0

not that hard to figure it out. haha. it's like a really easy puzzle :D the pieces were made for connection.

MargieDrury 1

Hey I read you info and I'm a geek I'm in drumline. Color guard is not my thing lol but that's Awesome.

tdawg4200 0

What does that have to do with sex?

MargieDrury 1

Nothing, I was just saying. Myob.

xocellaox 0

ohhaii! i was actually thinking of doing drumline this year :D

MargieDrury 1

Pit? Bass? Oh email me I like finding people with same things lol. ( it's in my info)

Look at the bright side. At least you now know that your boyfriend has never watched any **** without you knowing!

I would think that was weird. They must be very young. Like 13 or something. I honestly think its strange if a guy doesnt watch ****.

Mweh, some people are just very sheltered. Home schooled, maybe? And yea, It's pretty normal for dudes to watch ****. But I think they should at least tell their significant other so there are no secrets, right?

doogy15 11

No, **** is something private that isn't exactly something to brag about. Guys brag about the girls they screw not the ones they imagine screwing. It's normal but it's not something you go telling people about.

83 - I didn't mean it like that. I mean, if you had a long term girlfriend that you might consider getting engaged to, it would be best to tell them about what you watch and such. I didn't mean that boys should go around proclaiming that they watch ****. That probably wouldn't be the best of ideas.

35- how is it strange? My fiancé doesn't watch ****.... But then again, we make our own.

Yung23 0

How's that for adventure lmao

***obviously someone doesn't understand exaggeration.

Samster2000 9

Prime example of why you shouldn't have sex at 9