Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started...

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By trina - 22/03/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 426

You deserved it 7 984

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Same thing different taste

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 840

You deserved it 8 601

Turn on

By bodyelectric - 13/04/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 836

You deserved it 9 776

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 913

You deserved it 10 290

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 323

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 5 902

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 162

You deserved it 4 532

Don't stop now!

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 03:01 - Lithuania - Klaipeda

Today, as usual during sex, my boyfriend finished first, and then he "massaged" me so I could finish too. While he was doing that, his grandma called. He actually answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 180

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 391

You deserved it 34 756

Beginner

By madzlovesgee - 16/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 901

You deserved it 53 403

New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 447

alex_smokin_okin 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 16:32

thats not an FML, my grandma has some pretty soft hands as well

bansheebomber 14

Thursday 26 May 2011 19:02

The cat? What about it?

Comments

theoldGP 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 5:07

ew sketchy. but still not an FML

maiden_girl 5

Tuesday 24 March 2009 13:12

ROFL! This is weird.

N0Luck 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 21:49

L F$%$ING OL

maddy_waddy 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 0:28

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Creeper.

marinesgirl9 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 3:19

i agree with 16 and.... that's just creeeeeepy

DickRice 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 3:34

Funny but not very exciting,,,,

a_z_0_9__fml 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 5:56

LOL

theunknowngirl 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 22:25

hahahahahahahahahahaha

Vehicle 1

Thursday 26 March 2009 0:05

Awkward, true. But he was trying..

0zymandias 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 5:39

IMO, people are dumb after sex. Accept the compliment and enjoy your little knucklehead.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 53 945

You deserved it 3 623

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The Top

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You deserved it 71 696

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I agree, your life sucks 21 256

You deserved it 2 961

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I agree, your life sucks 3 738

You deserved it 546

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I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 371

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I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 123

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 560

You deserved it 4 003