Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started...

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By trina - 22/03/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 424

You deserved it 7 983

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Same thing different taste

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 833

You deserved it 8 597

Turn on

By bodyelectric - 13/04/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 830

You deserved it 9 774

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 905

You deserved it 10 288

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 318

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 032

You deserved it 5 901

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 158

You deserved it 4 531

Don't stop now!

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 03:01 - Lithuania - Klaipeda

Today, as usual during sex, my boyfriend finished first, and then he "massaged" me so I could finish too. While he was doing that, his grandma called. He actually answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 179

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 387

You deserved it 34 748

Beginner

By madzlovesgee - 16/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 900

You deserved it 53 403

New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 447

alex_smokin_okin 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 16:32

thats not an FML, my grandma has some pretty soft hands as well

bansheebomber 14

Thursday 26 May 2011 19:02

The cat? What about it?

Comments

Floridaguy81 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 5:41

Ok that's awkward.

AngelBubblesRose 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 6:48

mood killer

lolatflyingducks 0

Monday 30 March 2009 5:19

How often does he feel his Grandmother's hands? O_o;

NicGstfsn23 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 1:19

thats awkward.. i dont get why guys always have to bring up my grandmothers...?

Dirtydan93 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 5:20

Jeezus you don't talk about ur ****** grandma when you're havin sex... Dumbass...

smokey23 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 4:12

wow it could be worst

Qwertishman12345 1

Saturday 25 July 2009 20:45

Well, he wanted to compliment you, but still FML

Damone 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 2:17

LOL

ms_not_so_happy 0

Friday 1 January 2010 14:28

he feels secure and safe with you.

JrPeru14 0

Monday 25 October 2010 4:48

dats really weird lol

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 91

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 132

You deserved it 9 368

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 482

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I agree, your life sucks 25 163

You deserved it 3 861

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I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 241

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I agree, your life sucks 21 506

You deserved it 9 969

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I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 182

Today, I woke up and brushed my teeth as usual. My brother had decided it would be a good time to prank me and rubbed a ton of salt into my toothbrush. A while later, he stood outside the bathroom door repeatedly saying sorry. It was Epsom salt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 672

You deserved it 163