Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started...

By trina - 22/03/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 406

You deserved it 7 977

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 822

You deserved it 8 593

Turn on

By bodyelectric - 13/04/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 767

You deserved it 9 765

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 896

You deserved it 10 284

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 304

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 008

You deserved it 5 892

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 131

You deserved it 4 526

Don't stop now!

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 03:01 - Lithuania - Klaipeda

Today, as usual during sex, my boyfriend finished first, and then he "massaged" me so I could finish too. While he was doing that, his grandma called. He actually answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 179

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 708

Beginner

By madzlovesgee - 16/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 874

You deserved it 53 383

New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 444

alex_smokin_okin 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 16:32

thats not an FML, my grandma has some pretty soft hands as well

bansheebomber 14

Thursday 26 May 2011 19:02

The cat? What about it?

Comments

Monty_Python 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 20:50

That's..... creepy in so many ways.....

thequeenofscots 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 21:05

#28 - Agreed. My ex boyfriend once told me that my legs were smooth, like his cat. I didn't like that, either.

lalalaloveeex 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 21:51

Yeah, this really isn't a FML at all. Maybe his grandma has the softest nicest hands in the world? You should try feeling them.

jazminbliss 2

Sunday 22 March 2009 22:11

It IS kind of weird that after having sex the first time he compares you to his grandmother. Its supposed to be a calm nice intiamte moment. It would ruin my day if my boyfriend said that. And I wouldn't take that as a compliment, I would be weirded out.

sLap_fml 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 22:21

i think that is cute, not a FML.

Fuck34 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 22:26

AWK-WARD!

Sagacious 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 22:34

Maybe YOU wouldn't take it as a compliment, but maybe he was saying it as one, if u know him well enough than you could act a little more appropriate to this

Supahnova 14

Sunday 22 March 2009 22:54

I honestly don't understand how that's really bad. My grandmother had some lovely hands. Nice and soft. Old does not necessarily mean hard and crusty.