Love: Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv....

By sadgf - 29/03/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 911

You deserved it 6 037

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Same thing different taste

By klee - 08/02/2009 05:21 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed. After looking at me for a while he said, "you look better when I'm not wearing my contacts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 318

You deserved it 2 646

By Ouch - 29/07/2009 05:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 264

You deserved it 6 809

By really - 07/11/2014 00:30 - United States

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 042

You deserved it 4 366

PDA FML

By Anonymous - 13/07/2024 09:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 359

Serial killer vibes

By D Flower - 18/09/2021 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 695

You deserved it 6 405

By Djcc - 21/02/2012 18:03 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 985

You deserved it 7 113

By Anonymous - 16/08/2014 02:16 - Australia - Notting Hill

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 971

You deserved it 7 246

Disinterested

By lily - 13/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 347

wow_just_wow 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 23:21

u shoulda said "how does this look in the dark?" and smacked him

interventions 1

Sunday 29 March 2009 23:42

tell him his penis looks bigger in the dark too.

Comments

kisskiss_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 19:57

totally agree with #4. then u should have dumped him and left

demonkey_fml 4

Monday 30 March 2009 21:23

He's an ass and should be grateful for any crumbs of affection you deign to share with him. DUMP HIS AS*!

mon_e_mons 0

Monday 30 March 2009 22:11

XD i've said that to a girl b4. i immediatly felt like an ass though. and hey people just look better in certain lighting.

yui567 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 0:01

seinfeld much?

kenddrraaa 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 0:08

Definitly leave the A$$hole. Jerks like that don't deserve girlfriends.

laffytaffy 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 0:59

gotta leave him.. what a jerk! Jerks like him doesn't deserve a good woman!

lolo527 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:48

I hope he isn't your boyfriend anymore!

iceecold 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 4:35

LMAO # 14 that would have been perfect

lickmyface 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 4:37

i would ******* rip his dick off.

iceecold 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 4:39

say "oh, i was just guna give you head, oh well nevermind"! then walk away. thatll show that bitch!

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The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

The Top

Today, I saw an older gentleman running through my store. I wasn't sure why he was running towards the front door until I looked at the floor and saw a poop trail behind him. The trail went from the front of the store all the way to the back of the store. Guess who had to get the mop and bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 397

You deserved it 588

Today, I got into a car accident. I hit a pole in the middle of the night trying to avoid a car that was coming at me head on. Actually, it was just the reflection of my own headlights in the windows of a bus stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 2 285

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 736

You deserved it 3 487

Today, my parents searched my room because yesterday they found one of my friends vapes in my bag, which they made me return. Sadly, they found a box vape with 2 e-juices and gave me a talking to. So now, I'm never allowed out of the house until I'm 18 (I'm 14 right now) and I'm never allowed friends over. Also, they're really mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 2 475

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 065

You deserved it 3 141

Today, I said "I love you" to my girlfriend for the first time. She responded with, "I'm just gonna pretend I never heard that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 317

You deserved it 2 503

Same thing different taste

PDA FML

Serial killer vibes

Disinterested

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