Love: Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded...

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By stillhungry - 27/06/2015 18:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 534

You deserved it 3 986

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
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Same thing different taste

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 345

By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 513

You deserved it 5 109

My little buddy

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 130

You deserved it 6 513

Plot twist

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 72

Surprise

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 812

You deserved it 4 504

Red-handed

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 199

By jane smith - 01/07/2010 12:11 - Australia

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 607

You deserved it 18 062

Maybe he is gay!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2017 05:00

Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 73

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 865

You deserved it 6 064

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 111

You deserved it 7 771

TripleATeam 13

Sunday 28 June 2015 19:35

The best part of this was OP's name.

Stephanoze 23

Sunday 28 June 2015 19:34

At least he has a great sense of humour! :)

Comments

carcinoid 17

Sunday 28 June 2015 21:13

bite it off

odamaliekh 26

Monday 29 June 2015 1:46

Calm down there, satan.

Sheh_fml 25

Sunday 28 June 2015 21:17

I'm just gonna say this... Guys, getting head is a gift. Giving it is not. If you want sexytimes, do something nice for your partner, don't just inform them that they are free to bone you. That is not how to put someone in the mood. I get that it was just a joke, but it seems like an alarming number of dudes think this is actually more of "sexy foreplay" than "silly joke".

Dilwann 27

Sunday 28 June 2015 21:49

This. So much this.

leogachi 15

Sunday 28 June 2015 23:12

I'd also like to add that before you make a joke like this you should make sure your partner is going to think it's funny. We don't all have the same sense of humor.

mzmilly 13

Sunday 28 June 2015 23:30

how do I like this more than once? lol

leogachi 15

Monday 29 June 2015 5:37

I didn't mean the Op specifically when I left my comment. Also, being able to laugh at yourself is easy when the joke is funny. If it isn't funny, I won't laugh (and it's a mood killer for me).

Brandi_Faith 33

Monday 29 June 2015 7:46

I couldn't agree more 42! Plus, I'm sure op was expecting a present or a fancy night out or something, seeing as him wanting a bj probably is no surprise or nothing new.

trey600rr 22

Sunday 28 June 2015 21:38

still hungry huh, Lmao!

tibtak_fml 10

Sunday 28 June 2015 21:50

It's "bon appétit"

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 29 June 2015 5:18

it's also a play on words. a double entendre. come on people. this is not rocket science.

catmint 13

Sunday 28 June 2015 21:54

being the first time I've come across Bone Appetit this is hilarious

RayRobles17 9

Sunday 28 June 2015 22:30

I would definitly do something like that hahaha your boyfriend seems like a funny guy

mattfire14 12

Sunday 28 June 2015 22:36

He gets a C for creativity

Lilandrea_fml 3

Sunday 28 June 2015 22:44

The Naked Maaan !

ZoroMiHawk 25

Sunday 28 June 2015 22:51

Well, according to the legend himself, Barney Stintson, getting naked in front of your date/girlfriend works 1 out of 3 attempts. Those are pretty good odds so you can't blame your boyfriend for trying!