Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex...

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 326

You deserved it 10 515

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Preparation

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 12:00

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 485

You deserved it 445

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 331

You deserved it 4 329

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 108

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 394

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 258

You deserved it 394

Strange terminology

By Not true - 18/07/2016 02:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 436

You deserved it 1 765

Same

By Anonymous - 08/01/2015 14:24 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 973

You deserved it 6 084

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 515

You deserved it 6 367

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 950

You deserved it 68 199

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 242

ccsmilvr 0

Monday 28 November 2011 9:00

Wow that does suck, but why would you let him do that in the first place ??

mrbattleman 10

Monday 28 November 2011 9:01

maybe ear sex? once you go black, you go deaf

Comments

The_wolf_gang 1

Monday 28 November 2011 15:55

Wish my girl let me do anal.

stewy78 2

Friday 30 December 2011 17:23

She lets me.

mrmerino 0

Monday 28 November 2011 15:57

Dammit. Now I have an armpit fetish. Thanks OP.

BloodyMary666 24

Monday 28 November 2011 16:03

What an idiot.

metallicshadow 16

Monday 28 November 2011 16:09

has he not heard of tit *******?

whited666 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 2:17

That's what I was thinking! But maybe op has really small ****

RufusthePenis 0

Monday 28 November 2011 16:22

Maybe he's gay.

1summitash 1

Monday 28 November 2011 16:32

Just hold out for a while, than any sex will be fun. Ps your boyfriend is a freak

fo_86 0

Monday 28 November 2011 16:37

Better start stretching your nostrils

01fuckhead10 14

Monday 28 November 2011 16:55

Dump his ass

SlickWillyTFCF 5

Monday 28 November 2011 16:56

Maybe you'll find something you didn't know you liked.

Aveleen 1

Monday 28 November 2011 17:00

ydi for not thinking that it's fun.

Keywords

Shoes Miscellaneous Clothes Relatable Cars Insurance Transportation Health Work Love Cheating Awkward Clumsy Embarrassing Food Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Cute Dogs Pranks Ironic Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 181

Today, my fiancé and I toured our dream home. I was so excited about it that I posted all kinds of pictures of it on Facebook. My boss's daughter just called and said she loved my pictures so much that she made an offer on the house. We were one week away from making an offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 349

You deserved it 34 571

The Top

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 172

You deserved it 11 326

Today, my 4 year old daughter was ripping out photos of the family photo book, I asked her why she was doing it she answered, "I saw mummy doing it to another book." The only other family photo book was the day we got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 095

You deserved it 2 922

Today, I found out that my divorced father is moving 3 houses down the street with his girlfriend, with whom he cheated on my mom. He will now be living 3 houses away from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 171

You deserved it 391

Today, I was promoted as an auditor at an insurance company. After finding 9 compliance violations and over $15,000 returned incorrectly, I reported them to my manager. She blamed me for all the mistakes and fired me. These mistakes happened two years before I was employed with the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 354

You deserved it 136

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 890

You deserved it 153 241

Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh, so being my usual joking self I kidded, "Why aren't those kids in school?" She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 224

You deserved it 13 287