Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and... - FML

By Saradee - 24/12/2012 04:55 - United States - Inglewood

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 198

You deserved it 10 966

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Same thing different taste

This ain't working out

By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 051

You deserved it 335

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 085

You deserved it 9 132

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 364

You deserved it 5 691

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 310

You deserved it 5 110

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 779

You deserved it 7 876

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 709

You deserved it 6 016

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 416

You deserved it 26 470

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 114

You deserved it 4 641

By myasshurts - 14/10/2011 23:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 729

You deserved it 6 664

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 511

You deserved it 5 105

Next

Top comments

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Monday 24 December 2012 9:38

Wear a chastity belt next time and scream," YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Roguedork19 8

Monday 24 December 2012 9:44

No, this is Patrick. O.o

Comments

MarizaMai 3

Thursday 9 May 2013 14:55

What a way to end sex.

randome101 12

Friday 26 July 2013 1:09

Funniest FML ever

headphonesrock 5

Sunday 4 August 2013 4:23

I want to stop laughing but I can't. I just can't. But really you should find a way to get him back

wanna_bee 8

Monday 19 August 2013 14:50

Except that in Sparra men have the upmost respect for women and see them as equal, why, because they givw birth to true men. to their warriors ans they couldnt have the warriors without the women. So his actions made it very clear he has no idea about Spartan tradition or values thus making him into an absolute fool.

CrazyLaughs4Me 17

Friday 20 June 2014 7:55

lame. You killed something hilarious

poopshootmagoot 2

Wednesday 11 September 2013 9:21

I could not stop laughing at this. Your bf is my hero. Glad I scrolled far back enough to see this.

ashleyylove3 22

Wednesday 30 October 2013 1:49

"No this is Patrick" *gets back on bed and kicks him off*

bleu0784 6

Friday 10 January 2014 6:24

Oh please, you all are too sensitive. It was funny. It's not like he beat her. Calm down.

megamattym 11

Friday 24 January 2014 10:57

That's awesome!

themetalstickman 19

Friday 13 June 2014 20:07

Ok what the **** was he thinking

CrazyLaughs4Me 17

Friday 20 June 2014 7:54

It's obvious he wants it kinky ;-)

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Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Wanker Sex Intimacy Health Insomnia Mental health Sleep Food Cooking Parents Weekend Kids Miscellaneous Pranks Annoying Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Animals Pizza

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I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 2 502

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 36 267

You deserved it 3 917

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 782

You deserved it 67 554

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I agree, your life sucks 45 611

You deserved it 4 979

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I agree, your life sucks 3 828

You deserved it 445

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I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 3 826

Today, I realized just how small and boring my life has become when the highlight of my week was an "epic quest" to the edge of the lockdown limit, to visit the only store with my favorite toothpaste. They didn't even have any in stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 150