Intimacy: Are you experienced?

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 516

You deserved it 5 110

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Same thing different taste

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 369

You deserved it 5 692

By tara22 - 27/04/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 186

You deserved it 6 305

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 787

You deserved it 7 879

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 792

You deserved it 5 501

Cool move, dude

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 09:47 - France

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 660

You deserved it 4 266

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 5 452

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 169

You deserved it 4 027

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 434

You deserved it 1 416

Major romcom vibes

By staciedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 576

You deserved it 5 024

Romantic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 837

You deserved it 3 166

Cads1 24

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:38

Why is your bed on wheels? Do you live in a hospital?

danthehuman 29

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:17

At least you two can have a good laugh about it in the future! :3

Comments

danthehuman 29

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:17

At least you two can have a good laugh about it in the future! :3

chaseafterwind82 29

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:19

Woah, that could've ended up on an episode of 'Sex Sent Me to the ER' :-)

teyyoshi 19

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:26

what is ER？

NotGabe 28

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:49

#4 ER = Emergency room.

teyyoshi 19

Saturday 29 August 2015 10:14

Ths

teyyoshi 19

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:24

intense sex really appeals

vmss4 6

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:27

hahaha your boyfriend went out with a bang :')

Cads1 24

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:38

Why is your bed on wheels? Do you live in a hospital?

False_Stupidity 41

Saturday 29 August 2015 11:45

Have you never heard of an ensemble bed? The bases very often have small wheels on the bottom.

domolovesyoshi 33

Saturday 29 August 2015 12:56

Obviously not given they asked the question

incoherentrmblr 21

Saturday 29 August 2015 19:50

Better question is do they have hardwood floors?...

HappyItalian 38

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:44

Looks like you two ended up drifting apart. Literally.

IssacB 14

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:45

(insert Meals on Wheels joke)

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:55

No wheel locks? Come on...

Benzio 15

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:57

follow up please?

DMA0712 22

Saturday 29 August 2015 9:58

You meant to go down on your boyfriend, but your boyfriend went down on the wall.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 183

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 139

The Top

Today, at Starbucks, I was sat next to a father and son where the son told his dad he wanted to meet in a public place for his own safety, because he had to tell him he’d gotten his half-sister pregnant. It might not sound like my FML but in the fist fight that followed they smashed my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 127

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 923

You deserved it 3 386

Today, my boss noticed some scratches on my shoulder and joked about how I must "like it rough". That's not a problem, we have a friendly working relationship. The problem is that I haven't had sex in nearly three years. The scratches are from my bird's claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 219

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "Condoms are too expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 198

You deserved it 6 433

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 415

You deserved it 3 776

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 797

You deserved it 12 897

Same thing different taste

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