Love: Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their...

By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - 14/10/2015 16:22 - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 180

You deserved it 2 310

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Same thing different taste

By Nomoreballs - 10/07/2012 23:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 741

You deserved it 6 445

That's a thing

By Anon - 13/11/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 347

By aaa - 01/03/2011 15:00

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 869

You deserved it 5 777

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 09:12 - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 081

You deserved it 3 820

What is going on?

By Jade - 22/08/2013 00:09 - United States - Reseda

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 089

You deserved it 3 976

By Madi - 30/11/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 748

You deserved it 3 625

Thousand-yard stare

By timiscuous - 20/04/2020 20:00 - New Zealand

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 282

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 118

You deserved it 4 857

By Username - 10/08/2011 12:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 547

You deserved it 7 164

michaelaranda 28

Thursday 15 October 2015 7:12

Goat luck trying to get him to stop kidding around.

auest 15

Thursday 15 October 2015 7:11

Find some other obscure creature like that, and simply do it back. Eventually he will stop if you make it embarrassing enough. Either way, FYL OP

Comments

tomvertigo 17

Thursday 15 October 2015 22:20

Sounds an awful lot like you should be single.

newburton13 26

Friday 16 October 2015 0:54

Start feeding him garbage like a goat. He'll stop.

pinkster2014 25

Friday 16 October 2015 1:55

Your boyfriend is the GOAT

candicane79 9

Friday 16 October 2015 2:04

I had a boyfriend that liked to grab inappropriate body parts of mine in public places. He thought it was hilarious and I didn't. After I asked him to stop about 50 times and he wouldn't, I just started doing it back to him in public. He was mortified and instantly stopped doing it to me. Worth a try.

TheRealPitBoss 17

Friday 16 October 2015 3:05

that's the best fml I've ever seen! I'm crying...

DiscordianLife 5

Friday 16 October 2015 5:06

I'm so sorry Op, um, I think you should inform him that they 'snort' and 'garble' their URINE. They pee on their heads and use it as mouthwash. I know this because I've raised goats.