Animals, Cute and Health: Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and... - FML

By aaa - 01/03/2011 15:00

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 868

You deserved it 5 776

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 09:12 - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 080

You deserved it 3 820

That's a thing

By Anon - 13/11/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 347

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 206

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 590

You deserved it 3 580

By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - 14/10/2015 16:22 - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 179

You deserved it 2 310

By poisonivyandbigfoot - 10/09/2017 20:30 - United States - Denver

Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 4 360

By Nomoreballs - 10/07/2012 23:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 741

You deserved it 6 445

Drama Llama

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 06:58 - United States

Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 201

You deserved it 10 113

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 444

You deserved it 4 335

By nycplywood - 18/11/2009 21:01 - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 398

You deserved it 32 131

Next

Top comments

yuggi1 11

Tuesday 1 March 2011 20:55

Did you made sure the goat hadn't eaten animal dung before he licked you? No? Pray it hadn't, and if he did, that the animal wasn't carrying any type of bacteria/ parasite fecal transmittable... Otherwise, now you have it on your face. Good luck with that.

ThomasO_fml 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 21:27

GOAT used LICK! It's super effective!

Comments

piiing 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 19:04

omg that ******* sucks! you're not goi g to get a kiss for 6 weeks!

ulicksam 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 19:07

How can you NOT deserve it. You let a goat lick your face!

BoldfaceMatteo 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 6:38

lol

InvisibleReign 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 19:07

Lesson of the day: Don't let animals lick your face. YDI

duhh10 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 20:04

agreed.

sweet_candy_ 17

Tuesday 1 March 2011 19:09

Ewww that is not cute. Fyl for thinking it is cute.

TheWazBe 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 19:16

I agree with #1 or at least smack the goat silly.

seahorses4eva 4

Tuesday 1 March 2011 19:27

Oh yeah...effin adorable. Goats freak me out. FYL, OP...for being that close to a goat, and the poison on your face.

randiZ25 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 19:30

that's kinda shitty luck you've got there...

perdix 29

Tuesday 1 March 2011 20:02

It would have been cute if you had put peanut butter on your crotch and let said goat go to town on your junk.

bachooka 5

Tuesday 1 March 2011 20:40

until it started chewing... ouchie!

testthecoal 5

Tuesday 1 March 2011 21:37

got milk?

yuggi1 11

Tuesday 1 March 2011 20:55

Did you made sure the goat hadn't eaten animal dung before he licked you? No? Pray it hadn't, and if he did, that the animal wasn't carrying any type of bacteria/ parasite fecal transmittable... Otherwise, now you have it on your face. Good luck with that.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 1 March 2011 21:06

Wait, you let a goat lick your face? I have no idea where you're from, but that seems completely irrelevant. Because it's a GOAT. And you let it LICK YOUR FACE. On what planet did you think this would be OK?

Zmeilerr 22

Tuesday 1 March 2011 21:13

Uranus perhaps?

SassiestLemon 2

Wednesday 2 March 2011 2:00

Well said, both of you.

MuchDance90s 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 10:38

agreed. so gross.

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The Top

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 36 807

You deserved it 2 749

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You deserved it 845

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You deserved it 15 066

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

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Today, my son got back from his solo holiday in Hawaii. I asked him what he did. Apparently, he sat in his suite for 2 weeks, watching shit on his laptop. He spent thousands of pounds, flew thousands of miles to one of the nicest islands in the world, all to stay in his room. He could have done that here. FML

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