Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/09/2009 09:41 - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 098

You deserved it 4 377

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Same thing different taste

Beautiful

By Anonymous - 10/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 474

It's the thought that counts…

By Loveandpoetry - 31/05/2011 21:12

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 919

You deserved it 5 369

By blacklove - 12/02/2010 20:19 - United States

Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 577

You deserved it 2 709

Empathy

By KidCudi227 - 23/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 284

By blaze - 17/02/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 2 453

National bard

By bad poet - 02/12/2013 01:57 - United States - Millerton

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 748

You deserved it 4 662

Love is…

By jemma - 04/08/2009 11:27 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend was reading me a poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well… until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said, "Shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 106

You deserved it 4 740

By Headless - 29/05/2015 13:04 - Denmark - Lyngby

Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 696

You deserved it 9 004

By notakeeper - 03/01/2014 03:50 - United States - Orlando

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 101

You deserved it 4 664

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 116

Next

Top comments

my_fml_account 2

Monday 14 September 2009 16:22

roses are red violets are blue getting dumped isnt fun sucks to be you

Calaura9 0

Monday 14 September 2009 16:35

Roses are red Violets are blue He's getting laid But it's not by you

Comments

famas48 0

Monday 14 September 2009 19:54

#37 lmfao , Well, at least he wrote a poem for you...

crazyyylooper 0

Monday 14 September 2009 20:29

damn, that is awful. you should have kicked him in the balls. hard.

donovanrammstein 3

Monday 14 September 2009 20:35

I would say FML, but damn, that's kinda clever.

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 14 September 2009 21:21

Roses are red, violets are blue. I WANNA **** YOU WITH A RAKE.

LadyOfLannister 0

Monday 14 September 2009 21:27

Shane Dawson? =D

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 14 September 2009 21:33

Nope

Casualt1234 0

Monday 14 September 2009 21:30

Dada response poem: flaguberty skiddley doosh da fanaught perjim haliter skowunberqwaty nijanalipal yural ereptwun kalihaczor fajireunun illatchureneas jaqutey kahon cockmunch jizzysquish ifakedeveryorgasm monkeeefugger

kombatkyle 0

Monday 14 September 2009 21:31

These are pretty much worth it, you click my link i'll click yours. http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=7578

SaintJimmy 0

Monday 14 September 2009 21:36

I was dumped with "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm sorry to say, I'm breaking up with you." in a text message. She was telling the whole school about how I was let down easy with a poem.

tony8pie 0

Monday 14 September 2009 21:55

He sounds like a gentleman and a scholar...

pritchard27 0

Monday 14 September 2009 22:22

I feel sorry for you but that guy is funny

mathsponge 0

Monday 14 September 2009 22:31

WTF ... Oooh he seems sexy

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The Top

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 1 921

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 691

You deserved it 3 149

The Top

Today, I discovered that if you cum down the sink every day for a year, it doesn't just wash away, it makes a gooey, half-cooked semen-baby that your dad has to pull out of the pipe when it gets clogged up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 683

Today, at a work gathering, I started chatting with a guy who looked familiar. It took 5 minutes to realize he was a guy from my apartment complex. For the last year I've been pretending to be an accountant named Claire whenever we met in the elevator because I thought it was funny. My real name isn’t Claire and I’m definitely not an accountant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 716

Today, my boss yelled at me because every time he does his checklist walk-through of the warehouse I’m always sat on my ass in the break room, either watching television or fast asleep. Yeah, he does his walk-through every day between 12:30 and 12:45, right in the middle of my lunch break. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 77

Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 698

You deserved it 3 642

Today, according to my wife of 30 years, I'm finally old enough that I look, smell, sound and act like my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 114

Today, my overly jealous insecure brother "found" my ATM receipt, and called me out during a family luncheon, accusing me for being a drug dealer because, "How else could someone who is unemployed even before the pandemic could have almost 7 digits?" I couldn't answer them. Secretly, I'm a furry hentai artist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 232