Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 646

You deserved it 5 910

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Same thing different taste

Born to run

By Ipickthegoodones - 26/06/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 227

You deserved it 6 636

The nerve of some people

By Inga44 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 155

You deserved it 3 779

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 802

You deserved it 4 072

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 949

You deserved it 2 009

By daniella101 - 28/06/2012 18:11 - United States - Lacombe

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 258

You deserved it 3 641

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 182

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 891

You deserved it 4 583

By Anonymous - 22/10/2012 03:19 - United States

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 247

You deserved it 5 171

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 439

You deserved it 65 654

By madison77 - 21/11/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, my engagement ring was seized by the police, and my fiancé was arrested on larceny charges. Both in the same visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 508

You deserved it 3 059

Megs431 6

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:09

Someones not getting laid tonight

shitusernames 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:20

Good use of your English

Comments

a_lenzmeier 11

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:01

Damn, no more sex OR a sofa? Your life sucks.

portcaveman 5

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:01

lawl

Legendslayer222 26

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:08

Good thing you kept out of the way or he would have taken his kidney back too!

musicalmaggs 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:10

wouldn't call him your boyfriend anymore...

icic6772 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:12

What did he steal?

rmbennin 10

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:28

You pressed charges? Wow, jerk. xD

ashbear12345 4

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:30

'my ex-boyfriend robbed my house'?

rj33445 4

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:37

U grimy 4 tellin them 2 take him

foxmatrix15 8

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:39

Ur ex boyfriend I'm guessing. If u stay with him ull be the biggest FML loser here

LizzJizz 16

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:48

Please tell me he's your ex now...

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Customers Fat Bodyshaming Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media Love AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Students Relatable Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 813

You deserved it 9 769

The Top

Today, I cringed at a memory of 5-year-old me going to restaurants I was brought to and stealing tip money because I thought it was free. I got to watch a kid do the same thing to me. Oh, sweet karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 066

You deserved it 2 605

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 551

You deserved it 5 435

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 093

You deserved it 21 133

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 477

You deserved it 2 688

Today, I forgot my Lana Rhoades fleshlight in the bathroom sink without the lid on it because I was letting it dry. When my mother-in-law came over she saw it and just told me there was something in the sink. It’s so awkward now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 495

Today, it was my birthday. My family usually gives me a financial gift, but didn't this time and said nothing about it. I cooked my own birthday dinner without help, then washed everyone's dishes. I got my own cake and ate it alone because they were too busy getting drunk. Nobody bothered to sing Happy Birthday either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 154

Same thing different taste

Born to run

The nerve of some people

Drunk dick

Top comments

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