Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 646

You deserved it 5 910

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Same thing different taste

Born to run

By Ipickthegoodones - 26/06/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 227

You deserved it 6 636

The nerve of some people

By Inga44 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 155

You deserved it 3 779

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 802

You deserved it 4 072

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 949

You deserved it 2 009

By daniella101 - 28/06/2012 18:11 - United States - Lacombe

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 258

You deserved it 3 641

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 182

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 891

You deserved it 4 583

By Anonymous - 22/10/2012 03:19 - United States

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 247

You deserved it 5 171

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 439

You deserved it 65 654

By madison77 - 21/11/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, my engagement ring was seized by the police, and my fiancé was arrested on larceny charges. Both in the same visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 508

You deserved it 3 059

Megs431 6

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:09

Someones not getting laid tonight

shitusernames 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:20

Good use of your English

Comments

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:26

He sounds like a keeper. You should probably marry this man.

mollyslips 13

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:06

or bail him out real soon!

valalvax 13

Wednesday 10 August 2011 8:58

Screw bailing him out, have q prison wedding, most romantic thing ever

mea_iloveskiing 26

Wednesday 10 August 2011 12:02

If she marries him, he probably won't rob their own house :)

NaomiMadison 4

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:31

What a dick

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:37

PANTY RAID!!!

frankwolf86 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:38

kill him...

tbreezy98 4

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:41

Wow... Is he STILL ur bf?

mea_iloveskiing 26

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:38

This FML would have been great if your father had been a cop who arrested him :D

bullrider92 19

Wednesday 10 August 2011 4:41

I was thinking the same thing.

lidsthesquid 4

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:40

What a bastard :/

mandee612 15

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:46

Damn, that doesn't sound too chivalrous :/

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:50

Haven't you heard? Chivalry is dead apparently.

mcintosh123 15

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:48

Which house are we talking about here ;D (Dirty Minded)

markiesharkie 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 8:26

I don't get it

maddy1028 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:49

Sorry OP but I'm lmao definitely didn't see that coming

hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:53

Many he was looking for his underwear he left at your house last night

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The Top

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 651

You deserved it 5 885

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, my phone alarm went off at 3 AM. I don't remember setting it, but it turns out I'd somehow activated an old "Wake up for a meteor shower" reminder. Despite it being the wrong day by months, I got up, looked outside, and only then did my brain kick into gear and I realized it was set for the wrong date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 182

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 465

You deserved it 22 524

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 853

You deserved it 2 298

Today, I was trying to be polite by holding the door for an elderly lady in a shop. What I didn’t realise was that the doors were automatic. I ended up standing there awkwardly for a good 5 seconds, holding onto thin air, while she just smiled and walked by. A bloke behind me said, “The doors don’t need your help, mate.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 379

Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 872

You deserved it 2 593

Today, after weeks of doubt and pondering the pros and cons, I finally broke up with my girlfriend, and she burst into tears. Feeling guilty, I tried to console her by saying, "Don't worry, we can still be cousins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 807

Same thing different taste

Born to run

The nerve of some people

Drunk dick

Top comments

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