Dogs, Accident and Love: Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to...

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 457

You deserved it 3 604

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Same thing different taste

Romantic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 836

You deserved it 3 166

By Jacklyn - 18/03/2012 19:18 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 775

You deserved it 20 094

By staciedee - 01/06/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 173

You deserved it 4 955

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 135

By Official_Person - 02/06/2010 21:31 - United States

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 31 139

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 370

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 312

You deserved it 5 111

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 303

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 4 102

By Anonymous - 21/09/2012 19:10 - United States - Clinton

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 062

You deserved it 4 778

xShannonxSammyx 7

Monday 28 November 2011 0:13

At least he tried to be romantic! :)

StoryOfTheYear 14

Monday 28 November 2011 0:13

The epitome of masculinity.

Comments

1awliet 8

Monday 28 November 2011 0:27

Then get up and do it again or you can just do it on the ground?

suavesuave 2

Monday 28 November 2011 0:27

Mood ruined!

jasminea 0

Monday 28 November 2011 0:32

Aww, he felt lonely.

tennisrapper1 14

Monday 28 November 2011 0:37

Reminds me of a weird romantic comedy

regsworld11 2

Monday 28 November 2011 0:41

Hey at least he tried! It wasn't his fault the dog tripped him.

DontClickOnMe 28

Monday 28 November 2011 0:45

Aww how sweet. Maybe the dog did that cause he/she was jealous?

marinus_fml 19

Monday 28 November 2011 0:46

Yes, obviously the dog wanted in on the action. Don't you just love waking up to the smell of sarcasm?!!

steelle_fml 0

Monday 28 November 2011 0:47

Sounds more romantically funny than anything else

individual_01 0

Monday 28 November 2011 0:51

Time to get rid of the dog

freakizoid_fml 5

Monday 28 November 2011 0:54

Maybe the dog wanted in on the fun... :D

kristat 14

Monday 28 November 2011 0:54

Damn pets, always ruining the mood. I hope neither one of you got hurt.

Keywords

Family Holidays Miscellaneous Thanksgiving Politics AITA Transportation Cars Am I overreacting? Contraception Love Cheating Suspicious Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Friends Jealousy Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Mental health Therapy Covid

The Top

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 697

You deserved it 8 588

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 122

The Top

Today, I had to fire a line cook. While walking through the kitchen, I noticed a cut on his hand. When I demanded to know why it wasn’t bandaged and gloved, he scoffed and said "Real men don’t need that shit! Bandaids are for pussies!” Who knows how much of the kitchen this moron contaminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 85

Today, I watched my fiancé ride off on my motorcycle with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 844

You deserved it 361

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 4 086

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 086

You deserved it 2 979

Today, I'm realizing the woman I've been in love with for 8 years has become completely disinterested in me. I can't even connect on a basic, "How was your day?" level without her her zoning out or getting lost in her phone, only to apologize when I say something and then not even ask what I had to say. We have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 180

Today, I finally got to sit down for dinner after a long day. In a truck stop restaurant, which specializes in "We don’t have that" or "Serve yourself, despite this being a sit down restaurant." The good news is that they charge more than fast food for less service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 96

Same thing different taste

Romantic

Slapstick

He prefers the dog

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