Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'....

By anon - 18/01/2012 18:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 575

You deserved it 5 604

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Same thing different taste

By LOTRfail - 27/07/2012 02:13 - United States - Malden

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 324

You deserved it 4 076

Weird flex, but OK

By mrwilly - 02/01/2015 03:22 - United States - Corona

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 888

You deserved it 4 899

By again? - 15/03/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 425

You deserved it 2 508

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 781

You deserved it 4 767

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 193

You deserved it 9 739

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 499

You deserved it 11 071

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 361

You deserved it 4 920

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 04:09 - United States - Aston

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 648

You deserved it 5 649

Beginner

By madzlovesgee - 16/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 875

You deserved it 53 385

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 10:00

Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 364

dogpup4 23

Wednesday 18 January 2012 22:15

This really doesn't seem as bad when you don't misread boyfriend as brother. Like I did.

ilovetylerseguin 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 22:15

he's a keeper

Comments

bri5083 9

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:31

At least he didn't ask you to talk to it-.-

hero93 6

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:51

I'm gonna be honest, uncircumcised penis' scare me.

tiffaany131995 3

Monday 4 June 2012 18:32

In that case, you're a ******* idiot. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it...it's skin. That's like saying you should cut your ear lobe off just because there's skin there.