Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection...

By 4fucksake - 18/07/2010 23:26 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 398

You deserved it 4 698

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Same thing different taste

By dickofbrokendreams - 02/03/2015 05:14 - United States - Waynesville

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 022

You deserved it 3 479

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 941

You deserved it 4 210

Not fair

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 247

You deserved it 324

Fetishes come in all sizes

By unboned - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 603

You deserved it 2 833

By peniswoman - 14/07/2013 17:03 - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 035

You deserved it 18 337

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 156

You deserved it 8 786

No kinkshaming, but…

By Anonymous - 04/12/2018 15:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 241

You deserved it 446

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 410

You deserved it 19 275

Unsanitary

By Anonymous - 01/06/2020 14:00

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 084

You deserved it 343

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 334

Earths_Venus 25

Monday 19 July 2010 9:11

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

smokergirl420 0

Monday 19 July 2010 9:09

there's something wrong with that boy >.>

Comments

Claybomb94 0

Monday 19 July 2010 10:15

I know right? lawlz :D

sizel1 0

Monday 19 July 2010 10:19

wow soooooo gay oh look my dick is small so I'll think about sexy stuff to make it look bigger in front of other GUYS but I won't have sex with my girlfriend I only have her so people won't know I'm gay but I don't think it's working lol I'm joking. ( no I'm not your boyfriends gay get over it )

JustReina 0

Monday 19 July 2010 10:23

he sounds gay, or maybe he's a jonas brother?!

dudeitsdanny 9

Monday 19 July 2010 11:03

He can't get a semi without a penis =) No Jonas.

Claybomb94 0

Monday 19 July 2010 10:24

oh you have no idea! I've wanted to go to England forever haha my grandparents are from there. (my other grandparents are scots!) :D

Claybomb94 0

Monday 19 July 2010 10:36

He is probably just self concious about his tiny wang. lol 12- your pic made me lol

tiffyxmac 0

Monday 19 July 2010 10:41

very weird. I'd be concerned. But umm, yeah, gud luck w. dat

fwongraven 10

Monday 19 July 2010 10:44

Why is that weird? :-S I was under the impression that a lot of guys 'perk it up' like that. I have no idea what that has to do with someone wanting to wait to have sex.

Claybomb94 0

Monday 19 July 2010 10:50

65- no guy "perks it up" in front of other guys unless he is a complete and utter ****. lol

CallMeHush 0

Monday 19 July 2010 10:55

I guess you already know the answer.

perdix 29

Monday 19 July 2010 11:07

He tells you he makes it a semi so he won't be limp in the shower. What he really means is that he goes with the semi to prevent the guys from seeing his raging, full hard-on while he showers with them. You are dating a closeted homosexual and are part of his facade. Out him and get out, or remain a "fag hag."

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 20 July 2010 3:07

hmmm.... A semi-sexual? That should be the new term replacing metro-sexual.

perdix 29

Tuesday 20 July 2010 14:13

Here in Houston, our bus system is called METRO, so the term "METROsexual" is the poor man's version of the "Mile High Club," which, in turn, could mean having sex on a plane, or on a bus in Denver.