Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection...

By 4fucksake - 18/07/2010 23:26 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 398

You deserved it 4 698

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Same thing different taste

By dickofbrokendreams - 02/03/2015 05:14 - United States - Waynesville

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 022

You deserved it 3 479

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 941

You deserved it 4 210

Not fair

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 247

You deserved it 324

Fetishes come in all sizes

By unboned - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 603

You deserved it 2 833

By peniswoman - 14/07/2013 17:03 - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 035

You deserved it 18 337

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 156

You deserved it 8 786

No kinkshaming, but…

By Anonymous - 04/12/2018 15:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 241

You deserved it 446

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 410

You deserved it 19 275

Unsanitary

By Anonymous - 01/06/2020 14:00

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 084

You deserved it 343

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 334

Earths_Venus 25

Monday 19 July 2010 9:11

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

smokergirl420 0

Monday 19 July 2010 9:09

there's something wrong with that boy >.>

Comments

EvilDave 13

Monday 19 July 2010 15:53

sounds like he watches too much **** and thinks his dick is too small because it isn't the size of an Arizona Ice Tea can.

Charlie194 0

Monday 19 July 2010 16:38

If he needs to give himself a semi it means he already has a small **** :)

melbaby8 0

Monday 19 July 2010 17:21

youre cuteeee :)

shadowsbane 0

Monday 19 July 2010 16:48

I find it worrying that he's managed to get a semi into a gym's shower room. It's pretty hard to miss an 18-wheeler.

DaveTheBrave20 0

Monday 19 July 2010 16:53

your boyfriend is gay.......

soulja93 0

Monday 19 July 2010 17:07

haha that really sux OP. Maybe your boyfriend just hasnt come out of the closet yet?

kroms001_fml 0

Monday 19 July 2010 17:32

he is doing it wrong, I walk around fully erect in womens showers.

bulldog678 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 1:48

haha!!

beancoinc 0

Monday 19 July 2010 18:21

why would I care about what the guys think about my dick as long as you like & enjoy it who cares, let him know you would enjoy a tease from him & maybe there will be a happy ending in it for him!

alicia_was_here 3

Monday 19 July 2010 18:25

so he has a semi around a bunch of naked dudes but wont have sex with you? does that mean hes gay??

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 19 July 2010 18:29

I'd be more than a little concerned if I were you...Also, can't the other guys tell that he has a semi-erection? Isn't that super awkward?

ashwowa 14

Thursday 14 November 2013 0:58

I was thinking the same thing. . im sure guys can tell the difference between a flaccid penis and a semi erect penis. must he awkward in the locker room...