Love: Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole... - FML

By ROLLY - 03/03/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 542

You deserved it 3 923

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Same thing different taste

By Shortround - 30/09/2012 12:56 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 191

You deserved it 2 916

By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because his iPod app said I was cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 540

You deserved it 5 386

By oneiPodlighter - 10/10/2013 03:03 - United States - Conshohocken

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 971

You deserved it 24 828

By lbailey32 - 04/02/2014 01:30 - United States - Seneca Falls

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 296

You deserved it 4 470

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 646

You deserved it 5 910

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 17:15 - Estonia

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 590

You deserved it 10 484

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 20:23 - Germany

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 904

You deserved it 3 827

By foretwintie - 06/06/2009 11:18 - Canada

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 214

You deserved it 8 283

By anonymous - 22/02/2010 18:11 - Canada

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 623

You deserved it 3 057

Melted

By Anonymous - 31/01/2021 03:30

Today, I found one of my boyfriend's earbuds in the dryer. He's gonna be pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 165

Next

Top comments

maplebaby 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 1:09

your boyfriend is a douche.

pepsie_fml 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 1:07

eat the cookie as pay back

Comments

Randomxnp 10

Thursday 4 March 2010 1:49

Errrrmmmm ... so you called the police and had this guy arrested, I take it. No?, then YDI

allard 14

Thursday 4 March 2010 1:58

If you've learnt anything from this FML it's: Don't **** with a man and his cookie.

BUHLAWFOOLxD 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 2:01

So true, especially the ones with the little M

giannee 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 2:22

i'll never **** with a man and his cookie ever again.

Fedor_is_KING 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 3:10

You can **** a man and involve cookies if you want though. I love cookies.

adrianna4ever 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 5:17

@ 48 haha nice

woofis 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 2:10

you know who did it bust his ass!

Nakedsquirrel 5

Thursday 4 March 2010 2:36

Was it a double chocolate chip cookie? A snickerdoodle? A peanut butter cookie with a hershey kiss in it? There are some cookies you do not **** with. Especially if they were homemade.

jebby011 0

Monday 19 April 2010 0:31

snickerdoodles whe wernt messing with the plural , just one snickerdoodle

yeahreally 6

Thursday 4 March 2010 2:52

And the moral of the story is don't steal peoples cookies or they get revenged 100x over. lmfaoo

Olympian94 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 4:39

I like thin girls...

jonny2x4 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 2:56

Is your boyfriend bisexual? "Stealing a guy's cookie" sounds like code for gay sex.

piemasterp 8

Thursday 4 March 2010 3:01

lol

youngbutwise15 5

Thursday 4 March 2010 3:41

Jonny, that indeed does sound like a code for gay sex. Guy 1: Hey dude, you see that hot guy over there? Cuy 2: Yeah, so? Guy 1: Wanna go get him drunk and steal his cookie Guy 2: **** YEAH *I so call copyright if a entry on urbanictionary comes up for stealing his cookie, if it doesn't already exist. Jonny can have it too....*

xHabsfanx 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 4:20

rofl this ^

ikickyourbutt 9

Saturday 16 July 2011 6:57

56- Win :). That made my day ?

mkylem 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 3:15

Wow... You boyfriend should have beat the crap out of him.

abacus203 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 3:24

i completly agree with #33...and sucks to be you

strandedinalimo 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 3:25

Shut up OP you live in Florida, therefore when the time comes you can easily go to the Harry Potter theme park!! :( hahaha

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 3:45

to me this really doent make ANY sense!!

lifeisdabestsome 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 3:49

me too. I don't know why he needs revenge on the gf. she wasn't even involved in the situation yet her iPod is being stolen. what??????????????

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Keywords

Christmas Love Break-ups Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 333

You deserved it 4 255

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I was berated, then unfriended and blocked on Facebook by an Ukrainian girl, all because I reacted with a “Care” on Facebook on her status about her family back home dealing with the war. Apparently, I’m a “hypocrite” for voting for warmonger Biden, thus “getting them in this mess.” Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 592

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 560

You deserved it 5 780

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 111

You deserved it 2 017

Today, I aced a job interview with my favourite start up. I really want to work there, but with my baby and toddler, chores, and general lack of support system, I can't pursue my dream job. Which I would screw up heavily from fatigue even if I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 320

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 598

You deserved it 68 710

Today, I took my friend to the emergency room because he was having heart problems. The doctors recognized him, and one of them had something to say: "Charles, can you not wait until you're practically dying to seek medical treatment?" This is gonna be a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 105