Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time... - FML

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 681

You deserved it 13 291

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 680

You deserved it 9 737

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 330

You deserved it 4 607

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 980

You deserved it 954

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 978

You deserved it 15 187

By Anonymous - 02/06/2009 11:05 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 614

You deserved it 5 385

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 944

You deserved it 68 198

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 963

You deserved it 14 589

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 219

You deserved it 42 497

Bad timing

By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 419

You deserved it 10 015

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 634

You deserved it 5 532

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Wednesday 29 December 2010 16:46

It used to be "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but now it is apparently "the way to a man's heart is through your asshole." On the other hand, I wouldn't trust an "I love you" that is said right after anal -- he's probably talking shit.

thegooseisloose 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:10

38 I see what you did there.

Comments

ImaginaryFoe 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 23:17

Punctuation is so important, isn't it? Dancingx, I believe pendatik was referring to #8 who made a ridiculous statement about gay men and anal sex and not to your ill-phrased post above. Incidentally, I get what you were trying to say and I think you are well-meaning but you do need to keep in mind that tone and intent cannot be read in a comment. I don't even know why homosexuality was brought up at all since OP is a female with a bf.

nswe 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 23:21

thats gay... i tried anal with my gf few times, but just cant subst nice wet pu**y. i love it so much

Edge23 1

Wednesday 29 December 2010 23:48

So just I understand, you stayed with a guy for 3 years who never said I love you ? Your ass deserved it.

WiFi_ght_Club 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 1:40

Well, her ass got it!

Edge23 1

Thursday 30 December 2010 6:01

lol. true dat.

nswe 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 0:47

no anal is not for gay only, some enjoy it, but who ever ass being "paunded" should enjoy it more. BUT, dude enjoys more anal then viginal its sounds a little ****, OR, something wrong with that vigi*a.

attatood 8

Thursday 30 December 2010 1:10

The only difference between "vaginal" and "anal" is v, g and i... and a quarter inch of membrane.

22cute 17

Thursday 30 December 2010 1:45

Don't believe that crap.

patebbe 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 2:12

hell. it feels good. **** ot

rawrineedcandy 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 3:18

ew really anal that's all guys want it's soo gross

sturk_fml 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 4:29

some guys including me dont like anal..!

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 30 December 2010 5:32

Get him an anal blowup doll

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The Top

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 752

You deserved it 21 325

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 460

You deserved it 2 166

The Top

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 378

You deserved it 4 191

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said, "As long as it's not a spa day. That would suck, I'd never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 597

You deserved it 26 584

Today, my boyfriend told me about a girl who he loved a few years ago. He said, "She was extremely beautiful, and I fell for her for a long time. But it's like with universities, everyone wants to study at Harvard but finally ends up in a regular university that they can afford." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 117

Today, if I don't do work around the house, my girlfriend will call me a lazy pig and yell at me. If I do, she will yell because I didn't do it the right way. If I ask her to clarify the right way, she will call me a dumbass, give useless instructions, and work herself up into yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 258

Today, I was a server in a restaurant and the wait time was longer than usual, because of short-staffing and lack of supplies. A huge muscular guy got up and went on a rant about the wait time, and how “voting for Democrats” causes these problems, and then stormed off without ordering anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 223

Today, my husband seems to think sex once a month is adequate, and that it’s acceptable to nap on the sofa once he gets home from work, wake up for dinner, then go straight to bed. I also can’t speak to him while he’s eating, because he’s watching tv. I thought I had a husband, not a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 223