Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think...

By Anonymous - 13/10/2015 07:35 - United States - Davis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 972

You deserved it 6 175

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

The prick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2022 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to deep throat him and I had to tell him he isn’t long enough to reach my throat. It just about reaches the back of my tongue, but that’s it. He’s now sulking. I can’t change the length of his prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 486

You deserved it 617

Double standard

By NoSexForMe - 13/07/2014 07:46 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 821

You deserved it 8 660

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 047

You deserved it 9 713

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 890

You deserved it 9 242

Preparation

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 12:00

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 447

Hummmmm

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 16:11 - United States - Spokane

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 120

You deserved it 10 534

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 10:00

Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 366

Man of mystery

By Anonymous - 22/02/2021 00:30

Today, I found a video of my fiance staring into the camera while deep-throating a dildo, and then putting it other places. I have no idea who/what it was for, or how to talk to him about this, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with his disinterest in me lately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 112

You deserved it 183

Can't be bothered

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 20:00 - Germany

Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 179

By whyeventry? - 02/08/2013 04:39 - United States - Neenah

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 162

You deserved it 12 723

umerin 32

Wednesday 14 October 2015 1:37

That's talent.

Welshite 39

Wednesday 14 October 2015 1:40

He just proved "practice makes perfect."

Comments

US_StormTrooper 2

Wednesday 14 October 2015 20:09

Frankly I've done the same thing for ex-girlfriends of the past. Sadly, I just needed to find one that was actually up to the task and didn't need a demonstration of how it was possible and not that big of a deal... Then again I've always found it hard to understand why people are unable to accomplish what I can accomplish... I'm agreeing with smidge1987 on the jealousy part ;-) Perhaps I would have been a really fun and talented performer if I was gay lol

THEDARKLORDOFALL 17

Wednesday 14 October 2015 20:27

Uhhhhh

anarchymaniac 22

Wednesday 14 October 2015 20:45

Maybe you should find someone else

mightymorbid 6

Wednesday 14 October 2015 22:06

wtf

lollypop30001 19

Wednesday 14 October 2015 22:19

Maybe he done it a few times if you know what I mean!

NotRussian 16

Wednesday 14 October 2015 23:11

"I can do anything you can do better!" "Gulglug"

greeneyedx 23

Thursday 15 October 2015 0:02

"It's not uncomfortable for me, so therefore I don't see how anyone else could feel uncomfortable!"

xFOAxREAPER 11

Thursday 15 October 2015 1:14

only 140 characters to explain. I did go on to tell her how I could see how it wouldn't be desirable to have someone moving and or pushing you further down before you were ready. just a fun joke that she thought to share. :)