Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll...

FML for mobile
Free

By Faithful - 24/11/2011 10:01 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 300

You deserved it 7 730

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Small comforts

By Anonymous - 22/03/2020 22:36

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 718

You deserved it 191

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 16:11 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 772

You deserved it 6 548

By KBL3 - 11/08/2010 09:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 247

You deserved it 14 985

By Ggirl - 01/10/2013 19:41 - United States - Camarillo

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 594

You deserved it 15 386

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 636

The Rock

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 22:00

Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 1 016

Practical

By Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 909

You deserved it 20 153

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 425

You deserved it 7 166

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 07:58 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 871

You deserved it 4 656

By CassidyQueen - 06/06/2015 02:14 - United States - Warrenton

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 241

You deserved it 5 576

B0NER 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:02

Must have good boobies

rayrayray23 1

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:02

Best solution: Go to Narnia.

Comments

DanielleinDC 33

Friday 25 November 2011 5:02

You need to dump the guy. That's just sick, sick, sick.

annigotammo 1

Friday 25 November 2011 5:07

and this would be the time to run far far away.

SilentNicholas 0

Friday 25 November 2011 5:07

Atta boi

XavierMedina 0

Friday 25 November 2011 5:06

What a creeper

julia_lynn 21

Friday 25 November 2011 5:07

Run away and fast. What if he gets the wrong idea that you've cheated on him? You'll be dead and boobless.

miyu01 6

Friday 25 November 2011 5:27

Its ok. My boyfriend tells me that all the time. It just simply means he loves u, especially your boobies :D

bluntbeak 6

Friday 25 November 2011 6:39

How flattering

sierralovesyou 0

Friday 25 November 2011 6:44

That should boost your self asteem big time :)

aarshvipatel 0

Friday 25 November 2011 6:54

That's really gross ; what a perv.

strawberryspacejam 11

Friday 25 November 2011 6:54

well u better not ****** cheat

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Scams Party Awkward Money Capitalism Health Relatable Periods Gross Poopoo peepee Relationship advice Love Embarrassing Keys Transportation Sports Cars Miscellaneous Alcohol Parenting Ironic Work Cats Animals Scary Cute Death Suspicious AITA Family

The Top

Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However, I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 604

You deserved it 3 011

Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 619

You deserved it 1 865

The Top

Dating is hard.

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 96

Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 308

You deserved it 905

Today, and for the last 5 days, I’ve been waking up between 5:30 and 6:30 a.m. Perfect time to get into work early, right? Except I’ve been unemployed for months and the one thing I’m trying to work on is my lack of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 141

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 777

You deserved it 13 235

Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 601

You deserved it 1 085

Today, it's my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises behind the front door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights… as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 561

You deserved it 2 325

Same thing different taste

Small comforts

Oddly specific question

The Rock

Practical

Top comments

Comments