Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll...

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By Faithful - 24/11/2011 10:01 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 301

You deserved it 7 730

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Same thing different taste

Small comforts

By Anonymous - 22/03/2020 22:36

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 718

You deserved it 191

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 16:11 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 773

You deserved it 6 548

By KBL3 - 11/08/2010 09:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 248

You deserved it 14 986

By Ggirl - 01/10/2013 19:41 - United States - Camarillo

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 595

You deserved it 15 387

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 638

The Rock

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 22:00

Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 1 016

Practical

By Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 911

You deserved it 20 154

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 425

You deserved it 7 166

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 07:58 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 871

You deserved it 4 656

By CassidyQueen - 06/06/2015 02:14 - United States - Warrenton

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 243

You deserved it 5 576

B0NER 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:02

Must have good boobies

rayrayray23 1

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:02

Best solution: Go to Narnia.

Comments

5181997 6

Friday 25 November 2011 2:35

At least he was honest

xXxHalfGonexXx 6

Friday 25 November 2011 2:43

Lmao ur name is faithful too

almostalbino 10

Friday 25 November 2011 2:54

Solution= don't cheat on him... unless you look forward to a future that involves your boobs in a jar or something...

cheerluv15 0

Friday 25 November 2011 3:09

You've got yourself a creeper

adventuretime98 2

Friday 25 November 2011 3:16

I wouldn't cheat on him if I were you

deefan101 11

Friday 25 November 2011 3:53

I think your bf needs mental help! ASAP!

stingerz2012 11

Friday 25 November 2011 4:16

I think I would move and change my name because that is psycho stuff...

brownbear16 0

Friday 25 November 2011 4:31

tell em ur ex has dibs!! jk jk jk jk x•

TuteSweet 13

Friday 25 November 2011 4:37

he needs to think about his priorities.

Grouse 5

Friday 25 November 2011 4:42

What happens if you break up? Imagine...

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The Top

Today, an old friend unblocked me. Two years ago, she blocked me with no explanation. I got a notification saying she followed me on Instagram. I asked a mutual friend, and they said, "Oh yeah, she broke up with her partner. I guess she’s going through it." So, she unblocked me because she’s lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 85

Today, I nearly got written up at work for missing an important memo. The memo was sent to everyone via the company Facebook group and not by our e-mail system. My manager could hardly believe people exist who have no Facebook account and have no intention of making one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 001

You deserved it 2 409

The Top

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 163

You deserved it 1 903

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 533

You deserved it 57 492

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 50

Today, the man I was going on a dinner date with bought me an expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend came and sat with us. Somehow, the subject of getting it on came up. My date then said, "Expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 046

You deserved it 6 721

Today, I realized that without fail, even if I'm not supposed to get it, I get my period just in time for vacations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 938

You deserved it 1 408

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 864

You deserved it 6 736