Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship...

By grizzlybear - 27/06/2011 05:55 - Mexico

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 192

You deserved it 6 997

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 361

You deserved it 4 920

Shaving!

By John Doe - 07/01/2020 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 064

You deserved it 466

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 13:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 912

You deserved it 4 724

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 156

You deserved it 8 786

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 676

You deserved it 8 434

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 387

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 594

You deserved it 2 376

Faithful

By Munkeh - 12/04/2012 20:42 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 594

You deserved it 4 061

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 410

You deserved it 19 275

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 499

You deserved it 11 071

Hillaryy789 9

Monday 27 June 2011 12:00

You deserve it for not having a penis.

chickunkey 0

Monday 27 June 2011 12:03

Your boyfriend wants to have a sword fight.

Comments

zeroxbitch 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:19

k if thats how he said it then move on gurl :I

oyevteshyna 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:20

Your,not the only one

chengy4191 7

Monday 27 June 2011 14:20

netbeui435 3

Monday 27 June 2011 14:23

fag

thewife5 19

Monday 27 June 2011 14:23

he was probably telling you that you are selfish in bed and he wants stimulated:)

TacoDog 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:28

How subtle of him.

TacoDog 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:28

How subtle of him.

Larsyun 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:30

i think he doesnt filling u r a girl anymore. be careful.

Danibe11 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:39

Are you sure he's not gay?

Meloblood 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:44

Haha this made my day :)

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings My ex Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Thanksgiving Argument Kids Parenting Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Cold weather Annoying Snow Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 1 169

The Top

Today, I had to use a sick day from the school I teach at. While I was off, another teacher called me mid delirium, because my students were borderline rioting over the work I left for them. I'd asked them to read a book and edit the one-page essay they've had two weeks to work on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 365

You deserved it 1 722

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 460

You deserved it 134 337

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 282

You deserved it 8 527

Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 615

You deserved it 2 694

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 095

You deserved it 1 990

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 191

You deserved it 3 857

Same thing different taste

Shaving!

Bored

Faithful

Top comments

Comments