Love: Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's... - FML

By drugdealersgf - 02/12/2016 06:55

Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 128

You deserved it 1 122

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Bnewlove - 31/07/2013 04:50 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 103

You deserved it 5 272

By Anonymous - 10/04/2012 20:57 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 347

You deserved it 6 723

By GetOutOfMyHouseLoser - 08/12/2013 23:44 - United States

Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 808

You deserved it 17 289

By hopeless - 06/07/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 841

You deserved it 7 007

By Jean - 22/12/2011 08:09 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 253

You deserved it 3 668

I'm not worthy

By dracer - 04/02/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 012

You deserved it 3 981

Money first

By Anonymus - 31/01/2020 20:00 - Canada - Warkworth

Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 328

By WTF - 15/10/2015 04:43 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend because she wanted to be with a man who has an income and a stable career. We are seniors in college and I accepted a really good job offer which I start once I graduate, which she knows about. She dumped me for a drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 2 170

Gobble gobble

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 00:01

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 138

By explanations - 14/06/2013 06:48 - United States - Des Plaines

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 645

You deserved it 7 941

Next

Top comments

Tripartita 44

Monday 5 December 2016 5:09

Normally I'd make a joke, but I'm willing to sell him a totally legit looking drug dealer license for only a couple payments of $989. You aren't going to find prices to beat that, OP. It will need to be renewed. Weekly.

potatocouch 16

Monday 5 December 2016 5:06

It troubles me that he doesn't want to pick a more stable career, like "testing" the drugs.

Comments

sunshineandroses 9

Monday 5 December 2016 19:47

Tell him you've selected "single" as a relationship status.

corn_flake 19

Monday 5 December 2016 19:58

Being a professional drug dealer takes quite a bit of schooling. Being a pharmacist is harder than it looks!

brick0 11

Monday 5 December 2016 22:26

Yeah pharmacist

jessicasoho 13

Monday 5 December 2016 22:42

Pharmaceuticals is a good career choice lol.

great_nate 26

Tuesday 6 December 2016 0:52

And you selected him.

luze_fml 0

Tuesday 6 December 2016 3:01

Your boyfriend is an idiot.

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 7 December 2016 19:59

Unless he's joking and wants to be a pharmacist, you need to dump the guy.

UpUpUpUrs 6

Saturday 10 December 2016 3:30

Was he binge watching breaking bad or the wire?

Dominus101 20

Wednesday 21 December 2016 3:06

He's been watching too much breaking bad

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 306

You deserved it 2 700

Today, a phone I bought online turned up while I was at work. The delivery guy left a note saying he'd left the package with my neighbor at #10. When I went and knocked on the door and asked for the package, my neighbor said "Nope, nothing delivered here." and quickly shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 020

You deserved it 1 992

Today, I finally found out why my girlfriend doesn't want kids. She discovered Rugrats recently and, after binge watching the whole series, decided that our would-be children would be too adventurous for us to handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 125

You deserved it 480

Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 701

You deserved it 3 697

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 804

You deserved it 4 871

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 391

You deserved it 3 422