Valentine's slay, Living together and Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then... - FML

By DallasGal - 14/02/2012 16:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 825

You deserved it 3 878

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Same thing different taste

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 096

You deserved it 5 793

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 067

You deserved it 5 184

By Eve - 24/06/2011 10:45 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 100

You deserved it 10 727

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 21:03 - United States - Edison

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 451

You deserved it 3 536

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 5 001

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 191

You deserved it 7 388

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

I feel love

By Anonymous - 16/02/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for Valentine’s Day, I got my boyfriend chocolates, a new Xbox game and planned lots of kinky sexy time. He ate the chocolate, orgasmed after three thrusts, had a 2-hour nap, then ignored me while playing the new game all afternoon. He didn’t get me anything, not even my own orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 181

Happy birthday

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, for my birthday, I'd told my boyfriend I wanted a full day in bed with Netflix, champagne, frequent sex, and a takeaway pizza at teatime. He managed sex twice 4 hours apart, kept falling asleep watching Netflix, drank too much, and threw up his pizza all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 238

By still hungry - 21/04/2012 13:04 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 327

You deserved it 4 158

Next

Top comments

hoolie06 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 20:00

So you couldn't have sex afterwards or before?

aricTB 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 20:00

pancakes! yay

Comments

perdix 29

Sunday 14 February 2010 21:27

Put syrup on your pussy and you can both be happy. My day would have gone: 1. Sex 2. Pancakes 3. If I'm not too bloated, more sex 4. More pancakes 5. Vomit 6. ????? 7. Profit

KurouTenshi 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 21:35

I'm watching a tv show about moms killing her kids, I read this and laughed out so hard...the best part was "profit" xD

CallMeHush 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 23:32

We never hit 7 on the other list either, he will be pleased.

FockinA 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 21:30

wow you must really suck in bed. that's a good idea, try a BJ once in a while.

gohabs21 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 21:37

this man has his priorities straight

EpicFMyLife 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 21:42

That's because he's obviously not a real man, who would have been thinking Arby's.

aardvarkish 16

Sunday 14 February 2010 21:43

see u all at IHOP!

aDerangedStateOf 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 21:45

Pancake sex? Best of Both Worlds in One...

sidvoltaire 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 21:48

holy shit it is? **** yeah

PhillyFox 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 21:58

You can have sex any day. But you can't get unlimited pancakes any day!

pluralbusted 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 22:03

unlimited pancakes aren't around forever...

cassdede 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 22:08

wow awesome boy friend

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Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 524

You deserved it 1 300

The Top

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 841

You deserved it 4 639

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He's 6'2 and I'm 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 920

You deserved it 5 098

Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 176

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 235

You deserved it 18 352

Today, I found out that my grandfather, who is a retired Marine, has paid real money to buy ALL the Lady Gaga themed items for his farm in FarmVille. I don't know what's worse, that he did it, or that I'm jealous of not having that stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 187

You deserved it 8 787

Today, I called 911 and got taken to hospital via ambulance after a suicide attempt. When I called my mom, the first thing she asked was, "How much is the ambulance going to cost?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 879

You deserved it 998