Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear,...

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 834

You deserved it 53 771

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 233

You deserved it 39 344

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 155

You deserved it 9 452

War drums

By Taylor - 30/07/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 242

You deserved it 10 686

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 916

You deserved it 18 538

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 317

You deserved it 2 766

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 659

You deserved it 9 535

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 5 625

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 784

You deserved it 4 445

By disney_dick - 08/01/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 979

You deserved it 2 043

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 449

You deserved it 6 709

Lozza111 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 8:56

haha, your bf is awesome, stop complaining

ZleveL 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 9:01

my comment never showed ip :( I was first too D: anyways, all my comment was was "the penis sleeps toniiiiight" ;)

Comments

Thatguywhotrolls 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 11:08

Why is it that girlfriends don't seem to have a sense of humour on here?

omega802 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 12:13

lol I that a turn off?? I should stop doing that then

selenagirl_fml 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 13:18

So he's an adventurer???

Lithicus 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 13:27

A machete may be needed but personally I like them hairy.

WhoaIsa 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 13:34

bf win. you should so keep him since he apparently has an awesome sense of humor

minniusmannius 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 18:39

you are so wow!

aardvarkish 16

Thursday 22 July 2010 13:40

Better rainforest than desert scrub.

joeinthedark 18

Thursday 22 July 2010 14:11

Didn't you guys hear? The 70's are coming back in fashion. It's all about the down under afro with circles in the know!

Bloodknight 22

Thursday 22 July 2010 14:11

"When I was a young WartHOOOOOOG!

squirrels_FTW 3

Thursday 22 July 2010 14:18

SHAVE!!! but still that funny!!!

kemolegend907 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 14:33

hairy pussy!!!!!!!!XD

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The Top

Today, I had a job interview at a Holiday Inn. I got there ten minutes early and sat until 1:00 p.m., then told the person at the front desk I was there for my interview. She called the manager, who said that no interviews were scheduled today. I'd gone to the wrong Holiday Inn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 1 694

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend was planning on proposing to me tomorrow. I found out after receiving a couple of a dozen texts from friends and relatives bitching me out for not telling them. Apparently, my dad thought it would be appropriate to make the announcement for me on his Facebook page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 102

The Top

Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 410

Today, I finally took the courage to introduce my ginger boyfriend to my family. It didn't go too well. My dad asked if he could call him "Ron Weasley" and my 13-year-old brother asked if he had a soul. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 234

Today, I had an interview to be a waitress. Afterwards, I had food in the restaurant, which is where I overheard my interviewer tell the manager he wasn’t going to bother hiring “that girl I just interviewed” because "her face is nasty and she’ll put the customers off their food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 111

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 990

You deserved it 4 050

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 111

You deserved it 5 888

Today, my brother came up with what he thought was a genius idea for how to make money. I then had to explain to him that insurance fraud is illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 374

You deserved it 177