Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear,...

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 53 763

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 230

You deserved it 39 337

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 140

You deserved it 9 447

War drums

By Taylor - 30/07/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 232

You deserved it 10 684

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 910

You deserved it 18 536

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 303

You deserved it 2 763

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 654

You deserved it 9 534

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 088

You deserved it 5 620

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 758

You deserved it 4 440

By disney_dick - 08/01/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 970

You deserved it 2 037

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 442

You deserved it 6 704

Lozza111 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 8:56

haha, your bf is awesome, stop complaining

ZleveL 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 9:01

my comment never showed ip :( I was first too D: anyways, all my comment was was "the penis sleeps toniiiiight" ;)

Comments

Thatguywhotrolls 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 11:08

Why is it that girlfriends don't seem to have a sense of humour on here?

omega802 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 12:13

lol I that a turn off?? I should stop doing that then

selenagirl_fml 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 13:18

So he's an adventurer???

Lithicus 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 13:27

A machete may be needed but personally I like them hairy.

WhoaIsa 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 13:34

bf win. you should so keep him since he apparently has an awesome sense of humor

minniusmannius 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 18:39

you are so wow!

aardvarkish 15

Thursday 22 July 2010 13:40

Better rainforest than desert scrub.

joeinthedark 18

Thursday 22 July 2010 14:11

Didn't you guys hear? The 70's are coming back in fashion. It's all about the down under afro with circles in the know!

Bloodknight 22

Thursday 22 July 2010 14:11

"When I was a young WartHOOOOOOG!

squirrels_FTW 3

Thursday 22 July 2010 14:18

SHAVE!!! but still that funny!!!

kemolegend907 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 14:33

hairy pussy!!!!!!!!XD

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my gay best friend slept over, as he has many times during the past three years of our friendship. This time, however, he confessed to me that he's only pretended to be gay to get closer to me because he's in love with me. I've allowed my stalker to sleep in my house and in my bed for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 600

You deserved it 1 542

Today, when my new boyfriend told me he had a thigh fetish, I thought it was cute, until I realised our sex life would mostly be him fawning all over my legs, then dry humping my knees. We’ve been together 3 months and I can count the number of actual shags I’ve had on one hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 261

The Top

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 615

You deserved it 3 761

Today, I went back home after a break with my live-in boyfriend. I had to spend some time at my distant father's place in another city until we talked it over, and he asked me to come back. I guess he should have mentioned he'd had sex with someone else before I came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 286

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 554

You deserved it 4 901

Today, because my room was cold as ice, I couldn't sleep in there, so I went to my living room. It was at that moment that I realized just how bad my tinnitus is when I don't have my fan or any other form of constant noise to drown it out. I couldn't stop focusing on it, so I remained awake all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 121

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 890

You deserved it 70 390

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 756

You deserved it 7 902