Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 13:20 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 977

You deserved it 27 941

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Same thing different taste

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 113

You deserved it 64 139

Run, run away pronto

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 08:01

Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 198

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 190

You deserved it 7 388

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 323

By Suicidal - 20/12/2009 22:40 - Australia

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 084

You deserved it 7 721

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 893

You deserved it 40 158

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 876

You deserved it 6 083

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 007

You deserved it 8 074

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 971

You deserved it 4 104

Will you…

By why - 17/08/2013 14:18 - United States - Lexington

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 547

You deserved it 7 392

Pelreskovich 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:43

That's a good thing isn't it? He was happy you made him something he enjoys. Food always gets to us men.

perdix 29

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:45

He's protecting you from murderers, yet you are trying to kill him from the inside. Ingrate!

Comments

DjeePee 24

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:29

OP... ehmm ... I'm sorry to break the news for you, but... stone age is over. For a very long time now. I think your boyfriend has better things to do than save you from rapists and murderers.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:25

Such as, rape and murder you himself.

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:32

If your boyfriend is like Superman, then french fries are his kryptionite!

acidburnz1107 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:37

43 love it! My kryptonite would be fast food. I love fries. I make them as a snack. Lol Op cops are supposed to portect you from bad guys.

fyl9907 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:32

Murderers and rapists...I don't see the relevance.

jasony0423 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:36

I wish my wife made French fries.

kurzweilfreak 1

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:59

Amazingly, the police force is not everywhere 24/7. If you're relying on the police to keep you safe rather than as a clean up service, then you're in for a shock if something ever goes down. When seconds count, the police are only minutes away. The only person you can rely on to protect you is YOU!

skylersilcon 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:00

I wonder how he would act if u cooked him a loaded baked potato or even mashed potatoes??!? Mmmm. He might strip all your clothes off & have sex with you right there in the kitchen.

ClumsyKee 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:01

I would have done the same if my boyfriend cooked me french fries. Frikkin love those things. Who doesn't? Lol this isn't much of an FML.

Cinn_fml 22

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:02

So he likes chips, be happy you made him happy. What's the problem? Also, it's not his "job" to protect you, he might well do that when the situation demands it, but it's mainly the police force's (not to mention there's some responsibility on your own part to be careful and such). Besides, how does a fondness for chips mean he's not tough enough to protect you?

Lexi9312 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:05

I'm slightly confused by the murderer/rapist part, but home cooked French Fries are the best French Fries, so why not get a little emotional?

blueeyedwolf 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:17

Since when did a relationship mean signing a petition saying you will also be her body guard? I don't know about you OP, but I can take good care of myself. My husband isn't responsible for taking care of me.