Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers...

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By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 13:20 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 982

You deserved it 27 948

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Same thing different taste

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 115

You deserved it 64 149

Run, run away pronto

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 08:01

Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 204

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 196

You deserved it 7 391

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 343

By Suicidal - 20/12/2009 22:40 - Australia

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 091

You deserved it 7 721

We'll just order out

By Lili - 22/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 258

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 898

You deserved it 40 167

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 889

You deserved it 6 091

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 475

You deserved it 8 196

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 978

You deserved it 4 108

Pelreskovich 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:43

That's a good thing isn't it? He was happy you made him something he enjoys. Food always gets to us men.

perdix 29

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:45

He's protecting you from murderers, yet you are trying to kill him from the inside. Ingrate!

Comments

inusariel 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:32

This isn't that funny at all. Stupid

raygae00711 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:37

I don't see how this is a fml, your bf's excitement over fries doesn't hinder his ability to protect you, though like others said, that's not his job.

datoismyname 22

Wednesday 18 January 2012 4:31

#69 no one cares if you make them as a snack. Big deal! This isn't about you!

Travis1001 15

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:44

Imagine what would have happened if you made him some bacon :o

akito11 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:58

Lol he wi be more inclined to protect you, lol food from a gf is a man's soft spot, lol If he ever gets mad make him some good food and see what he says

noncomposmentis 6

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:52

Why are you adding 'Lol' everywhere?

ikotsu 1

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:05

Uh? Are you expecting murderers and rapists to come after you? Also, please pull your boyfriend's balls out of your purse and give them back to him.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:09

Me want French fries now.

phxffemt 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:09

He was happy you didn't burn them this time.

jamie_lynn91 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:21

Why are you relying on your boyfriend to protect you from anything? It's called being independent.

Snafuusmc 12

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:56

Food is every mans weakness I tell ya!

iveanne 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:58

Murderers and rapists?!! Really? Seriously doubt he had a breakdown. Considering your statement of what the role of a "boyfriend" consists of, I would imagine that you dramatized his reaction to your French fries. Drama queen!!!