Intimacy: Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase...

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By SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! - 01/02/2015 16:17 - United States - Gurnee

Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 364

You deserved it 4 307

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Same thing different taste

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 804

You deserved it 27 701

Turn off

By no no no - 21/03/2023 02:00

Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 314

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 800

You deserved it 4 776

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 05:16 - United States - Norfolk

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 458

You deserved it 4 926

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 348

You deserved it 10 521

By fffmmll - 21/03/2011 16:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 992

You deserved it 56 256

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 23:02 - United States - Rocky Point

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 990

You deserved it 5 667

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 250

By anonymous - 29/07/2012 13:34 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 476

You deserved it 4 898

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 206

You deserved it 3 437

organizse 28

Monday 2 February 2015 0:16

"SAY MY NAME" "SAY. MY. NAME." "Mood killer."

KhaleesiDannie 26

Monday 2 February 2015 0:15

Fandom's don't belong in the bedroom

Comments

infinitemonkey 21

Monday 2 February 2015 6:41

Stupid joke. Now lighten up and stop acting like he made a 9/11 joke like another recent FML.

drc428 5

Monday 2 February 2015 7:43

you should have moaned say my name...

Spongegirlcs 17

Monday 2 February 2015 8:24

You're goddamn right!

exuberant_orange 17

Monday 2 February 2015 16:12

That's methed up.

codyslong 12

Monday 2 February 2015 21:38

that's great.

Badkarma4u 17

Monday 2 February 2015 21:42

Yeah!!!!!! Foreplay, bitch!!!!!!

missnuthin 10

Tuesday 3 February 2015 3:37

*ahem* like another AMC character said... "Like the Mojave-******".

smilebox96 2

Tuesday 3 February 2015 3:43

I think you mean river

DaniX9 5

Tuesday 3 February 2015 7:09

Hahaha I just watched Dormtainment on YouTube and in their dick pic video they used that line!

sky28guy 5

Wednesday 4 February 2015 1:04

We'll your name is skylar

hugginsman76 10

Wednesday 4 February 2015 3:52

a desert that they can cook in?

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Same thing different taste

Turn off

Dirty talk

To each his own

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