Animals: Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained...

By ihatedogs - 22/06/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML

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You deserved it 19 916

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Same thing different taste

Dangerous words

By lily - 30/08/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 148

You deserved it 54 644

Tasty!

By Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 791

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 830

You deserved it 6 934

By Anonymous - 04/08/2016 21:25

Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 996

You deserved it 15 588

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 135

You deserved it 630

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 269

Chillin' with Satan

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML

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You deserved it 134

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 305

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 215

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 298

You deserved it 7 218

redbluegreen 40

Monday 22 June 2009 12:15

The dogs were on the table, peed on it without you realizing and you guys decided to eat on it anyway? Even if there's water, wouldn't you attempt to clean it up? I don't understand. There's more then a few drops. It's a freaking puddle.

heywood 0

Monday 22 June 2009 12:17

...I guess urine for a surprise.

Comments

plo_koon 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 4:57

AHAHHAHAH!!

master565 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 5:22

how the he'll does a puppy get on the table

bordemstirs 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 7:55

why the hell was the dog on the table?

robodoll 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 9:45

YDI for eating something that fell on the table and not knowing what it fell in. It shows you are a filthy gross person. Leave the damn pets off the table will ya?????

ohsnapelenaaa 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 11:29

Why was there pee on the tablecloth? I don't understand.

ObadiahtheSlim 2

Tuesday 23 June 2009 15:55

WHo puts puppies on a table and doesn't notice it pee on it? Either fake or you are a moron.

Lillinette 2

Tuesday 23 June 2009 15:57

I just puked in my mouth a little. D: Probably fake, water is a different color than piss.

dreams_infinity_fml 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 18:44

i almost threw up reading this

lakeylove 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 22:45

haha! op ihateyourusername poor puppy did u do something mean to it!!! if u did ihateyou. don't hate dogs. for people that didn't see  the op's username it's ihatedogs. weird becuase Im with my dog right now

Escapist28 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 0:49

You are clearly not giving these puppies enough credit. You said they were untrained, but they managed to clamber onto your table, pee on the cloth and jump down without drawing any attention to themselves. Those puppies are undoubtedly highly-trained ninjas.