Animals: Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet...

By CatLady - 24/08/2009 13:38 - Canada

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 547

You deserved it 4 164

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Same thing different taste

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 897

You deserved it 4 043

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 265

You deserved it 2 745

Take, is gift

By leaaaa 223 - 14/07/2020 23:01

Today, I woke up to yet another severed rat head next to my bed, which I have to dispose of yet again. Cats are seriously weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 319

Sobering

By TheLivingDeadTree - 19/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 107

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 778

You deserved it 31 289

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 265

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 09:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 200

Cujo, but for cats

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 08:01

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 303

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 667

You deserved it 96 618

By crazycatlady - 24/08/2016 09:43 - United States - Ashland

Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 190

You deserved it 1 577

DameGreyWulf 0

Monday 24 August 2009 20:13

"Wake up, lazy alpha. I've brought you an offering."

redbluegreen 40

Monday 24 August 2009 20:13

Well, where else is he gonna get you a gift? The mall?

Comments

ShinyStar_fml 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 0:24

cats naturally show their affection by headbutting... they like to show their trophies. it makes them feel proud

ShinyStar_fml 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 0:24

cats naturally show their affection by headbutting... they like to show their trophies. it makes them feel proud

Nyx7 24

Friday 12 September 2014 11:59

Ew...I'd probably puke on the cat

fmlheyzeus 4

Sunday 14 December 2014 3:16

Breakfast in bed..?

EpicAsh007 15

Thursday 19 March 2015 19:33

At least he got rid of a rat for you ?

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Today, I saw some of my parents' recent social media posts. They spent the holidays at the five star Radisson Blu hotel on Gran Canaria for a week, while I'm homeless in Moscow, struggling with bad shoes and improper clothes. I don't deserve the FML as I wasn't responsible for what caused my situation. FML

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Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 621

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The Top

Today, I realized my workplace has incompetent employees who should be fired, while others who made one mistake did get fired. Our boss does nothing about complaints, except tell the offender everything you said. This environment is toxic but it's a job. Never seen such backstabbing and cliques EVER. FML

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Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 279

You deserved it 3 807

Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 634

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Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

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You deserved it 3 360

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So, can you figure out what happens next?

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