Animals: Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead,...

By XxEmoWolfiexX - 24/05/2012 21:18 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 869

You deserved it 2 626

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Same thing different taste

By Zamaria - 02/10/2009 22:23 - France

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 745

You deserved it 3 359

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 929

You deserved it 4 622

Scaredy cat

By Luke - 15/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 216

Asshole

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 20:38 - Netherlands - Mierlo

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 144

You deserved it 3 234

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

By MistofAvalon - 24/04/2020 14:00

Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 393

You deserved it 308

By Anonymous - 28/12/2013 00:05 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 210

You deserved it 3 812

Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 29/05/2020 14:00

Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 346

Rise and shine

By Anonymous - 29/04/2020 08:00

Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 211

You deserved it 3 626

By Noname - 30/01/2009 18:18 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 809

You deserved it 3 097

nelds 12

Friday 25 May 2012 8:32

Haha your dad sounds funny.

roseXthorns 8

Friday 25 May 2012 8:33

Hopefully she didn't impale you with razor sharp claws.

Comments

Jewnut 0

Friday 25 May 2012 9:29

my cat has woken me up by clawing my nose. twice. no laser involved. she was going for my peaceful fluttering eyes

luckyd880 12

Friday 25 May 2012 9:31

I doubt he could get two fmls posted. Hard enough to get one! Guess my life just isn't ****** enough....? Ya I guess that's a good thing.

_overandout_ 10

Friday 25 May 2012 9:44

He deserves a spoonfull of whoop-ass

vicky_reoow 1

Friday 25 May 2012 9:57

"WTF DAD! GET THIS PUSSY OFF OF ME!"

aljen90 2

Friday 25 May 2012 10:11

This morning my cat woke me up by clawing my family jewels, thank the Lord that I'm not castrated

MerrikBarbarian 9

Friday 25 May 2012 10:17

Oh cats... I have so many scars from them but I love them anyways. Enjoy life with your remaining eye, assuming you didn't look I to the laser with that too.

Zeldasherolink 0

Friday 25 May 2012 10:53

I think he just wanted to see some pussy on his daughters face

hecallsmedarlin 7

Friday 25 May 2012 11:32

Why is there always this one immature pervert that always has to turn something completely irrelevant to sex into something sexual? Shame on you. You should learn to act like an adult.

Kibaruto 33

Friday 25 May 2012 10:59

After I read this FML I felt it. That must have been a lovely wake up call. Op, next time ask your dad nicely if he could allow you to use an alarm clock instead.