Work: Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and...

By Iknoweverything - 22/12/2012 08:06 - United States - Mankato

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 757

You deserved it 3 211

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Gas wars

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 15:59 - United States

Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 94

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 118

You deserved it 4 857

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 962

You deserved it 11 822

By FartMyLife - 11/08/2016 11:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 955

You deserved it 2 165

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 240

By babs - 07/05/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 171

You deserved it 4 752

By nightmare ass - 15/05/2019 06:11

Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 420

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 3 634

By lambeaster - 20/01/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 826

You deserved it 3 714

ICastillo 24

Saturday 22 December 2012 16:02

Whoever smelt it, dealt it

seandoc 13

Saturday 22 December 2012 16:06

I don't think I've ever heard a fart described into so much detail before.

Comments

Fawks_ 6

Saturday 22 December 2012 16:15

Silent but deadly

CyborgBanana 12

Saturday 22 December 2012 18:07

He thought he had the ninja ability of silent, deadly farts. Sadly... he was wrong. He will never be a ninja. Keep fartin' champ, you can still dream.

BellaBelle_fml 23

Saturday 22 December 2012 21:43

He thought they were silent anyways…

ICastillo 24

Saturday 22 December 2012 16:25

"Better out, than in" my friend Shrek always says.

BubbleGrunge 18

Saturday 22 December 2012 16:29

Known, as I was reading this, I cared less that you smelled shit all day and more worried about being around a sick individual. My germ phobia just kicked I'm big time and i feel the need to wash my hands! Wash your hands OP, stay well!!!!

TwoOneFive 11

Saturday 22 December 2012 16:31

Whoever messed the jeans ate the beans.

SusanBieber 10

Saturday 22 December 2012 16:33

The poor horse.

olpally 32

Saturday 22 December 2012 16:33

Reminds me of a co-worker I work with. He farts on us for no reason at all and thinks it's funny. Such an asshole about it too. At least your coworker is sick and not doing it on purpose. I suggest trying to staying away from him if you can. Nasty!