Doesn't he know that just because you're related doesn't mean you can skip the dating and courtship portion of the relationship? Otherwise you're just being lazy and creepy.

Hopefully you replied "neither is self defense!" before kicking him in the balls so hard, they popped.

Put icy hot in some of his underwear when he is not in the house. If he falls asleep on the couch wake him up with a swift kick to the balls. I would also suggest putting hot sauce and is OJ or in any of the sports drinks

Well, you know what they say: “Everything’s bigger in Texas!”... including your cousin’s ick-factor!

But sexual assault is.

Today, on things that never happened

and this is when he goes back to Texas

So that’s where your cousin from Alabama went!

This is BS.

When you're related, you can do anything...grab 'em by the pussy, you can do anything.