Intimacy: Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home....

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:18 - Australia

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 834

You deserved it 3 844

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

Code of silence

By nean83 - 12/01/2013 05:11 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

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By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was asked to pick up something from my parents' house, only to be greeted with the horrid surprise that my elderly dad has taken to wearing women's pantyhose and garters. He claims it's for his knees, but that doesn't explain the boner I had to see peeking out of his panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

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By Anonymous - 22/04/2011 02:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 344

You deserved it 3 515

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 449

You deserved it 5 478

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By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 490

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 208

You deserved it 4 187

By Anonymous - 20/02/2019 04:00

Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 205

By Author - 24/02/2014 22:22 - United States - Naples

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 413

You deserved it 6 838

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 208

You deserved it 4 705

save_me_08 0

Friday 22 May 2009 16:49

At least it wasn't in a bag w/ a ***** and he ended up telling you how he likes it up the ass... then goes on to explain how stimulation of the prostate increases pleasure... and how you shouldn't be embarrassed about what makes yourself and your partner feel good Silver lining?

ArtsySwag 0

Friday 22 May 2009 16:49

Why would your father disclose that with you? That's so gross. I've come across lube in my mom's groceries and I try overlooking it because I don't want mental images rummaging through my head. Ughhhhhh. I feel sorry for you :(.

Comments

TJStarzZ 8

Friday 22 May 2009 20:18

I agree with #10..this isn't an FML, it's a thing called TMI, a whole different topic.

neurorot 0

Friday 22 May 2009 20:21

awww. tmi on your dad's part but that's gotta suck for your parents. ):

suckingatlife 9

Friday 22 May 2009 20:27

yeah agreed tmi ewww im so sorry

purple5 0

Friday 22 May 2009 20:34

#9 is just stupid, "YDI for having a mom." - wait...WHAT? If the OP didn't have a mom, they wouldn't be here (obviously)...because, y'know...that is kind of how pregnancy works. The mom gives birth. Y'know? Everyone has a mom. Unless you're trying to say it would be better for the OP if their mom was either a) seperated from their dad and living somewhere else or b) dead. Either way. You're stupid.

idreamofpeace 0

Friday 22 May 2009 20:42

Oh... wow... He really had no need in telling you that.

purple5 0

Friday 22 May 2009 20:47

Haha, people saying TMI... got me thinking. A site full of peoples TMI situations would be pretty hilarious :L

suckingatlife 9

Friday 22 May 2009 20:53

that's not a bad idea i like it

watermind 0

Friday 22 May 2009 21:08

This is not an FML. And you should stop being a baby.

verstecktergeist 11

Friday 22 May 2009 21:11

This is stupid. Menopause is a natural part of life, and yes as we grow older our bodies change, most of the times not for the better. So what are you really freaked out about here? That your parents use lube because they're still an affectionate couple? Which you should be very happy about since the divorce rate is so high.. Or that one day you might be in the same situation? HMmm?

forthelulz_fml 0

Friday 22 May 2009 21:12

Whoever said that this is not an FML is an idiot. No one ever wants to imagine their parents having sex. On an unrelated note, your mom sure didn't need the lube when I was last over....