Money: Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today...

By Savannah - 01/08/2011 21:20 - United States

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 073

You deserved it 2 955

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 07:26 - United States - Blair

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 291

You deserved it 1 895

By Anonymous - 21/03/2014 22:35 - Australia

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 895

You deserved it 6 751

By psychic parents, how do they work? :( - 31/07/2013 22:49 - United States - Effingham

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 47 503

By crakbbyaparently - 31/01/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 839

You deserved it 1 891

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 150

You deserved it 3 195

By Username - 23/06/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 368

You deserved it 2 603

Thanks for sharing your inspiring story, Dad

By Anonymous - 16/02/2024 23:00

Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 112

By ThisGuy775 - 19/09/2011 04:41 - United States

Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 469

You deserved it 2 990

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband told me the only reason we're still together is because he can't afford to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 116

You deserved it 3 196

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 063

You deserved it 3 748

gideeupp 9

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:04

That furniture saved your life. Haha

RabidBunny 10

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:15

From this day forward, you will buy all of your furniture from IKEA in gratitude that you live to fight another day! Secondly, don't feel bad. Trust me when I say, if my parents had the chance to give me back they would, but thats not important. What is important, is that you can make something of yourself and make your father regret ever thinking about paying for that abortion.

Comments

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:31

Why is this an FML? Be happy that IKEA was in existence back then and that you had the chance to explore life.

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:31

when I was 7 my dad told me he wasted his gonads on me...

felah17 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:11

That's sad...And despicable at the same time!!

BuffaloBob 1

Tuesday 2 August 2011 6:04

Can't waste on something so pretty

tybtab 5

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:33

catholic side of the arguement: Jesus was not aborted therefore abortions are wrong.

perdix 29

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:35

So, you owe your life to sawdust and Allen wrenches! On your birthday, you ought to play Jonathan Coulton's IKEA song -- it could be your theme song. I'm not much better off -- I'm only here because of a dog.

shift_love 13

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:42

are you stealing that story from king of the hill? lol. the best arousal method for Hank hill was his dog ladybird. hence bobbies conception.

perdix 29

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:51

Nah, my dad told me that story way before King of the Hill existed. Originally, my mom and he didn't want kids (I don't know if that's what my mom really wanted, but she just went along with him). Anyways, they got a dog and my dad loved it. He said, "The dog is great, but it will never talk." Essentially, I'm a dog that talks.

chococat9 5

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:42

Your dad may be a jerk by telling you that, but he really wanted you. IKEA has a 45 day full refund policy.

eminemchick 19

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:45

my side is that no matter how hot button this topic is, we can all agree that it is okay to eat live infants.

a_lenzmeier 11

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:49

Haha. It's the same story with my friend. Except the car broke down on the way to the abortion clinic, and they had to use the Money to fix the car. She turned out to be the only one of her mom's kids who was worth anything. Ironic.