Health: Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a...

By justhelpful - 02/07/2012 17:44 - Austria - Mils

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 146

You deserved it 2 034

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 16:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 378

You deserved it 4 054

Get out

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 18:00

Today, I drove 10 hours on a broken foot to get away, because my drunk dad decided to shove me to the ground multiple times, and now I have to get fusion surgery on my foot. I also found out he’s trying to get me arrested for burglary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 133

By Jeff - 02/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 140

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 729

You deserved it 5 790

Just a prank, son!

By barface - 11/01/2012 02:52 - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 856

You deserved it 2 813

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 478

You deserved it 3 920

Drunken antics

By DevilsTemptation - 29/08/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 164

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 2 383

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 709

You deserved it 151

By lonely - 01/08/2010 04:10 - United States

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 4 051

HotCheetos22 4

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:35

Your dad is a jerk.

micah38 5

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:35

WTF was the prank?!!!

Comments

feelingfree27 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:49

Ouch, your dad's an ass.

ElmoSaysSquishy 28

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:50

You never know maybe he's looking for hot nurses to get you a date with. You're already entitled to some sympathy due to the busted knee.

ElmoSaysSquishy 28

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:51

15 of course because lesbians are the stuff of legends.

Mearemoi 14

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:52

I'm going to assume OP doesn't celebrate the 4th since she lives in Australia...

agm77 9

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:54

There are male nurses too though.

lottso88 4

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:54

Also, I'm not quite sure, but I think male nurses do exist.

duckiegirl21 10

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:57

Jokes on him if he has to pay your medical bills!

Redox127 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 6:00

Yay for free healthcare!

lildups 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:59

Too bad you couldn't join him

brohamas16 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 3:04

haha what an animal

perdix 29

Tuesday 3 July 2012 3:05

If he's going to get a nurse to tend to you, why not get a hot one? He needs to get his money's worth -- a boner would just be a bonus;)

unknown_user5566 26

Tuesday 3 July 2012 6:04

Girls can get boners?! I'm sad that I've lived such a deprived life. :(

phatdaddy62 23

Tuesday 3 July 2012 8:02

The Boner would be for Dad . . .

Keywords

Relatable Shoes Clothes Miscellaneous Insurance Transportation Cars Work Health Cheating Love Clumsy Food Awkward Embarrassing Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Cute Dogs Pranks Ironic Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 456

You deserved it 4 703

Today, my 8 year-old little sister said, "F*** you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said, "Gotcha, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 118

You deserved it 4 208

The Top

Today, two weeks after I got my girlfriend's son to watch old Tom & Jerry cartoons instead of those awful YouTube kids channels, he got in trouble at school for whapping another kid in the face with a toy mallet. He mentioned he wanted to be like Jerry. I'm a dead man when my girlfriend hears this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 276

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 636

You deserved it 3 139

Today, I gave my 7-year-old a snowglobe. I had spent the last week deconstructing it, putting an action figure of his favorite cartoon character inside, and then putting it back together. Later, I find it smashed into pieces because he wanted to "play with the toy it came with." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 612

You deserved it 7 301

Today, I went to a nice restaurant with my grandfather, who kept telling me to be kind towards our waiter, as he was probably just starting his summer job. The same waiter who, as my granddad had probably forgotten, had brought us our food six months ago and was now standing four feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 211

Today, my sister sent me countless pictures of my boyfriend making out with different girls at a bar. His excuse? Photoshop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 211

You deserved it 4 329

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 070

You deserved it 13 452