Miscellaneous: Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce...

By Selina - 22/06/2013 22:59 - United States - Trenton

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 801

You deserved it 5 321

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 04:03 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 837

You deserved it 1 974

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 709

You deserved it 3 253

By potatoes - 17/01/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 277

You deserved it 30 946

By ginkobiloba - 29/11/2016 11:01

Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 222

You deserved it 1 799

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 14:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 3 075

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 095

You deserved it 3 061

Just a prank, son!

By barface - 11/01/2012 02:52 - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 855

You deserved it 2 813

Prissy

By barfyshirt - 06/12/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 970

You deserved it 7 210

By malebonding - 17/08/2009 13:50 - United States

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 341

You deserved it 14 924

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 729

You deserved it 5 789

dinosxxrawr 22

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:01

he's seen you at your worst. it can only get better from here.

SH4D0WS1N 3

Sunday 23 June 2013 9:59

He might have enjoyed the pajama part for all you know.

Comments

Druu 53

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:10

"Sorry, I just got out of bed. Maybe we can meet there sometime?"

moonsalt 20

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:11

Haha. That's great.

badluckdawson 19

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:10

This happened to me once except I threw up when I met her

1soda1pOp1 6

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:10

It's what's on the inside that counts!

Rozza17 29

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:19

Well OP's sick so I would presume phlegm and other bodily gunk

beyondneptune 9

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:10

he probably likes them dirty girls

Screwie 25

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:13

Please shower, too. It will probably make you feel better.

MeLikeBigBoom 8

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:19

Give him a hug.

Druu 53

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:32

Then they'd both be sick.. misery loves company?

mbuck87 19

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:31

Being sick is not an excuse to not shower for 2 days.

Ameel_fml 19

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:53

I'm guessing you've never been severely sick before?

DjeePee 24

Sunday 23 June 2013 11:02

Or that you don't know that your body doesn't need to be showered every single ******* day?

mbuck87 19

Sunday 23 June 2013 13:39

Lol #31 you sound a bit defensive... Have people been telling you that you need to shower more?

KeXu 6

Sunday 23 June 2013 15:10

Hmmm...she does appear to have some sort of gas mask on. Perhaps this means something?

swedeNix 13

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:33

Look from the bright side: hes seen ur worst look, can only get better;)

hej2010 15

Sunday 23 June 2013 10:50

Owned

fluffycatsdad 33

Sunday 23 June 2013 11:22

F. Your. Life. That must have SUCKED! I hope you tore into your dad once the neighbour was gone!

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Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 327

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 615

You deserved it 4 794

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720 306

You deserved it 67 116

Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 429

Today, I restarted my PC a few times because of a little clicking noise coming from the direction of the tower. No, my hard drive wasn't doing a death rattle, it was music coming from ear buds lying beside said tower on the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 823

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 346

You deserved it 7 292

Today, I was telling 3 classmates on Whatsapp about my depression. One of them told me to "nut up n grow a pear." Two hours after we mocked him for being an illiterate jackass, one of us has had our car tires knifed and another's house has been egged. I'm terrified of what will happen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 791

You deserved it 5 383

Today, I haven’t relaxed since I was 12. If I was making good grades, doing extracurriculars, instead of allowing me to go out, my parents would accuse me of doing something bad and ground me. In college I burned out due to poor social development. Even though I have a job, I'm still a “bum.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 105

Same thing different taste

Just a prank, son!

Prissy

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