Miscellaneous: Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants...

By fuck off, dad - 02/01/2014 17:07 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 223

You deserved it 4 794

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Same thing different taste

By Colin Jr. - 23/09/2015 13:24 - United States

Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 797

You deserved it 1 697

Growing old disgracefully

By adam - 05/12/2015 14:54 - Czech Republic

Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 269

You deserved it 1 561

Get in, kid

By -__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 208

You deserved it 2 595

By Anonymous - 20/02/2019 04:00

Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 205

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 439

You deserved it 1 118

Mid-life crisis

By theslutmuncher - 14/12/2012 23:20 - Germany - Merseburg

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 917

You deserved it 2 488

By wtf - 30/05/2012 21:34 - United Kingdom - Staines

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 507

You deserved it 2 114

Crisis control

By Cuntlette - 11/04/2014 16:38 - Australia - Brighton

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 576

You deserved it 3 374

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 20:42 - United States - Boulder

Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 2 385

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 498

You deserved it 3 032

loganHchrist 9

Friday 3 January 2014 1:42

Parents are meant to be parents, not friends.

CerSpence 11

Friday 3 January 2014 1:42

You sound super lucky.... BAZINGA!

Comments

Smeedz 8

Friday 3 January 2014 2:38

Don't shun your dad out. He just wants to spend more time with you. Be lucky he's not one of those dad's that spends your college find on a motorcycle.

by4x4 4

Friday 3 January 2014 2:39

Just be glad you have a father that cares

FMLcommenterer 13

Friday 3 January 2014 3:02

Bitch, don't kill his vibe.

Cuppycake1 6

Friday 3 January 2014 3:34

Well yolo right...

8born8 18

Friday 3 January 2014 3:57

So your dad has turned into Phil Dumfy from modern family?

kimco26 12

Friday 3 January 2014 3:59

"hi hungry, I'm dad"

imbedderdenu 23

Friday 3 January 2014 4:20

hey he does it cuz he loves ya! It may be cheesy and annoying ;) BUT at least he's trying :) Turn it around on him look up the "slang" from his time use it on him ; )

worldclassrager 39

Friday 3 January 2014 4:21

Hope the crisis ends soon...

Walk1ng_Trav3sty 8

Friday 3 January 2014 4:24

Bazinga!

whitappleseed 4

Friday 3 January 2014 4:24

My dad is the superintendent at my high school and he does that every item he sees me in the hallway. It's embarrassing as ****.

vencku 13

Friday 3 January 2014 9:22

My uncle taught at my high school. In the first class I had by him, he told everyone we were related and dug up childhood stories. It was known before he announced it (I didn't hide it so we greeted each other and my mom sometimes asked me to pass messages), but he emphasised it so much. Not funny.