Health: Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing...

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 16:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 376

You deserved it 4 053

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Same thing different taste

By fucking har har, dad - 05/10/2012 23:38 - Australia

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 569

You deserved it 2 376

By justhelpful - 02/07/2012 17:44 - Austria - Mils

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 142

You deserved it 2 033

By Jeff - 02/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 138

Priorities, mate

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 966

You deserved it 4 158

Awkward silence

By kayin - 10/12/2010 01:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a tour for parents who wanted to send their kids to our school. One of the parents had a kid on crutches with what appeared to be a broken leg, so I asked him how he broke it. He replied, "I was born like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 477

You deserved it 6 596

By FootyFoot - 06/03/2012 11:50 - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 464

You deserved it 3 223

Not a prank, bro!

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 16:00

Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 847

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 99

Hurting over here

By wo-ow - 06/06/2014 23:09 - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 347

You deserved it 4 332

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 888

You deserved it 4 984

madellen 16

Wednesday 17 September 2014 0:01

Well he's a 'dick' for saying that op!

ImTheAlpha 30

Wednesday 17 September 2014 0:01

Sometimes I'm glad my dad left. But then I realize my mom finds this stuff equally hilarious.

Comments

TheDevilWearsJoe 8

Wednesday 17 September 2014 0:15

Take it easy OP. It'll be hilarious in a few years time.

FMLreaderLeL 6

Wednesday 17 September 2014 0:15

I wonder if his dads car...got broken?

LowExpectations 30

Wednesday 17 September 2014 2:09

Then OP would have to hobble his crippled ass home with no ride.

trackstar224 4

Wednesday 17 September 2014 0:16

Lol yur dad knows how to live

ahippienamedrae 10

Wednesday 17 September 2014 0:16

Would you say it was very "ballsy" of him to say that?

sydneysays 15

Wednesday 17 September 2014 0:33

Oh no..

DianeYoung 11

Wednesday 17 September 2014 0:58

If you go sarcastically along with it, people will forget

Witchylady 17

Wednesday 17 September 2014 1:03

Your dad is an ass. What a rude and inconsiderate thing to say out loud and at your school. Did you tripped him with your crutches.

captainsmegma 12

Wednesday 17 September 2014 1:05

You don't have to take dad's ride. You can always wank yourself to school and wank yourself home.

pjsr 32

Wednesday 17 September 2014 1:25

Your dad is going to be on the staff's mental list of 'parents to avoid' and also keep an eye on for other inappropriate or possibly criminal behavior. Joking or not, any adult that talks about masturbation in a school setting will be remembered - and not in a good way.