Health: Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing... - FML

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By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 16:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 385

You deserved it 4 056

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Same thing different taste

By fucking har har, dad - 05/10/2012 23:38 - Australia

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 574

You deserved it 2 381

By justhelpful - 02/07/2012 17:44 - Austria - Mils

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 153

You deserved it 2 036

By Jeff - 02/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 140

Priorities, mate

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 972

You deserved it 4 160

Awkward silence

By kayin - 10/12/2010 01:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a tour for parents who wanted to send their kids to our school. One of the parents had a kid on crutches with what appeared to be a broken leg, so I asked him how he broke it. He replied, "I was born like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 481

You deserved it 6 601

By FootyFoot - 06/03/2012 11:50 - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 475

You deserved it 3 224

Not a prank, bro!

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 16:00

Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 855

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 101

Hurting over here

By wo-ow - 06/06/2014 23:09 - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 361

You deserved it 4 335

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 903

You deserved it 4 994

Next

Top comments

madellen 16

Wednesday 17 September 2014 0:01

Well he's a 'dick' for saying that op!

ImTheAlpha 30

Wednesday 17 September 2014 0:01

Sometimes I'm glad my dad left. But then I realize my mom finds this stuff equally hilarious.

Comments

Omniprism 14

Wednesday 17 September 2014 18:05

Your dad sounds awesome. I wish I'd had a dad like that growing up. I didn't have one at all. Be thankful.

klenorris 15

Wednesday 17 September 2014 20:38

This actually made my day! LOL

kittymisfit 13

Wednesday 17 September 2014 21:07

I agree your life sucks, but your Dad's right... it IS hilarious!

asdfpiedance 1

Wednesday 17 September 2014 21:57

well was it masturbation related?

THEDARKLORDOFALL 17

Thursday 18 September 2014 21:41

....how does one break their leg in a ************ related incident?

nevermore905 1

Saturday 20 September 2014 1:22

that's funny. go dad!

Peteboddinyeah 7

Saturday 20 September 2014 7:14

Your dads awesome.

kinkinaan 12

Friday 10 October 2014 4:25

how the **** do you **********?

Kondor017 9

Friday 4 March 2016 6:39

Dude. How

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You deserved it 403

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I agree, your life sucks 8 398

You deserved it 1 934

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I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 158