Kids: Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for...

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By SaggyBoy135 - 12/07/2011 12:19 - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 943

You deserved it 3 581

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Same thing different taste

By bellerz14 - 23/12/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 001

You deserved it 4 225

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 600

You deserved it 2 561

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 503

You deserved it 1 514

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 979

You deserved it 38 688

By Bacon0426 - 04/07/2016 21:03 - United States - Skaneateles

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 779

You deserved it 1 118

Mid-life crisis

By theslutmuncher - 14/12/2012 23:20 - Germany - Merseburg

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 924

You deserved it 2 491

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 773

You deserved it 7 950

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 223

You deserved it 6 256

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 02:37 - Canada

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 233

You deserved it 5 160

By krystal - 27/10/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 971

You deserved it 14 446

bigmike315 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:47

at leased he wasnt rubbing one out, i would want to know that sound effect

joshuaUNWRITTEN 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:50

Dads these days..

Comments

ihaveatightbutt 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:56

thats actually really funny im going to do that when i have kids thumbs up if my picture made you chuckle.

anorexicbarbie 8

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:58

This isn't YouTube.

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:56

did he jump in the fountain and start doing the jaws music.

NeverShoutDana 13

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:58

Well, you are behind him. Run away.

iAmScrubs 19

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:03

Dad preparing for liftoff in 5-4-3-2-1. Zeeeeeeeeeeoooooomph!

anothersuicide 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:03

daddies growing up...THEY GROW UP SO FAST!

je_suis_fml 11

Tuesday 12 July 2011 21:14

*Daddy's (Daddy is..)

BeatlesObsessed 12

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:11

Wasn't it enough for him trying to make the cats Christians?

darkangel4700 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 6:21

lmao I saw that it was halerious

JFizzy69 5

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:15

Why are you embarrassed? That is awesome. I would be joining him lol.

youliketacos 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:15

You should have made louder sound effects, then maybe he would stop.

Senior29 8

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:19

kick him in the crotch and listen to the sound effect ;)

Suddenly 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:37

is your dad bill Cosby?

Jaxx66 21

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:43

I wish my dad was like Bill Cosby. everything would be WAY more entertaining.

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The Top

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 481

You deserved it 59 050

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 970

You deserved it 19 707

The Top

Today, I got pulled over for the first time since I got my license. I have disorganized speech and occasional inappropriate emotional response. I began to laugh due to nervousness and when I tried to explain why, I was arrested because he thought I was high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 277

You deserved it 5 433

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 173

You deserved it 3 189

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 977

You deserved it 2 305

Today, at the restaurant, my boyfriend told his parents that we were going to get married. They pretended not to hear and had a discussion about the contents of their plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 56

Today, the main cause of my recent boost in anxiety is in fact the amount of debt that going to a therapist in the first place has put me in. I guess he did help me find the main cause of my emotional issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 987

You deserved it 438

Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 474

You deserved it 3 888

Same thing different taste

Mid-life crisis

Thanks, I hate it

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