Kids: Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for...

By SaggyBoy135 - 12/07/2011 12:19 - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 931

You deserved it 3 577

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Same thing different taste

By bellerz14 - 23/12/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 994

You deserved it 4 222

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 572

You deserved it 2 556

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 490

You deserved it 1 512

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 671

By Bacon0426 - 04/07/2016 21:03 - United States - Skaneateles

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 772

You deserved it 1 116

Mid-life crisis

By theslutmuncher - 14/12/2012 23:20 - Germany - Merseburg

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 916

You deserved it 2 487

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 766

You deserved it 7 944

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 213

You deserved it 6 252

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 02:37 - Canada

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 5 157

By krystal - 27/10/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 964

You deserved it 14 442

bigmike315 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:47

at leased he wasnt rubbing one out, i would want to know that sound effect

joshuaUNWRITTEN 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:50

Dads these days..

Comments

ihaveatightbutt 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:56

thats actually really funny im going to do that when i have kids thumbs up if my picture made you chuckle.

anorexicbarbie 8

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:58

This isn't YouTube.

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:56

did he jump in the fountain and start doing the jaws music.

NeverShoutDana 13

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:58

Well, you are behind him. Run away.

iAmScrubs 19

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:03

Dad preparing for liftoff in 5-4-3-2-1. Zeeeeeeeeeeoooooomph!

anothersuicide 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:03

daddies growing up...THEY GROW UP SO FAST!

je_suis_fml 11

Tuesday 12 July 2011 21:14

*Daddy's (Daddy is..)

BeatlesObsessed 12

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:11

Wasn't it enough for him trying to make the cats Christians?

darkangel4700 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 6:21

lmao I saw that it was halerious

JFizzy69 5

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:15

Why are you embarrassed? That is awesome. I would be joining him lol.

youliketacos 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:15

You should have made louder sound effects, then maybe he would stop.

Senior29 8

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:19

kick him in the crotch and listen to the sound effect ;)

Suddenly 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:37

is your dad bill Cosby?

Jaxx66 21

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:43

I wish my dad was like Bill Cosby. everything would be WAY more entertaining.

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The Top

Today, I was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend. Some girl he knows invited us over to watch a movie. She spent the whole time ignoring the movie and clinging to him, trying to get him to stay, and completely ignoring the fact that I was there and that he was basically my ride. I felt like walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 124

Today, no matter how hard I work, no matter what my position is, and how hard I have earned it, I will keep failing, knowing that the people who succeed won't do a thing to focus directly on advancing or substantially improving human life quality. I will be the last one to consider it, but will never be able to do a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 321

The Top

Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 413

You deserved it 56 258

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 934

You deserved it 29 425

Today, freshly dumped and at a bar, I focussed my attention on trying to stand in such a way that I looked like an attractive, alluring, confident person. Apparently I forgot how to successfully stand upright and sprained my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 271

You deserved it 10 216

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 592

You deserved it 3 655

Today, a woman I’d never met came to my door asking if my kids were ready to go. Obviously I refused to send my kids with a stranger. Apparently she’s my ex's new girlfriend and "has his permission" to come get my kids. Now he’s threatening to take me to court for violating the visitation order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 578

You deserved it 177

Today, my biologist father had a slide show and speech prepared for my wedding. It started with, “40 years ago, there was a tree here”. I thought this would relate to me or the wedding at some point. 45 minutes later, I had to admit that it didn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 151

Same thing different taste

Mid-life crisis

Thanks, I hate it

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