Kids: Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for... - FML

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By SaggyBoy135 - 12/07/2011 12:19 - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 943

You deserved it 3 581

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Same thing different taste

By bellerz14 - 23/12/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 001

You deserved it 4 225

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 600

You deserved it 2 561

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 503

You deserved it 1 514

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 979

You deserved it 38 688

By Bacon0426 - 04/07/2016 21:03 - United States - Skaneateles

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 779

You deserved it 1 118

Mid-life crisis

By theslutmuncher - 14/12/2012 23:20 - Germany - Merseburg

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 924

You deserved it 2 491

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 773

You deserved it 7 950

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 223

You deserved it 6 256

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 02:37 - Canada

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 233

You deserved it 5 160

By krystal - 27/10/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 971

You deserved it 14 446

Next

Top comments

bigmike315 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:47

at leased he wasnt rubbing one out, i would want to know that sound effect

joshuaUNWRITTEN 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:50

Dads these days..

Comments

FamilyGuyFTW 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:57

Trust me, my dad has done worse :p

im_awsome 2

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:11

I wish my dad has a sense of humor.!

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:20

If you can't beat him, join in. Might as well have some fun.

Ncramer1 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:25

How is this an FML?

yeahWhatevuh 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:47

and my dad always decides to "make up" his own language just speak it loudly in public. not just to me, but to strangers too. you're not alone

imneverhigh8p 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:59

get over it

KatieLov3sChu 4

Tuesday 12 July 2011 21:41

this to me screams role model

ToriTheTurtlexD 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 21:56

Your dad sounds Epic :3

ahouser 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:03

That doesn't seem so bad. I would have joined in along with him. If you can't beat 'em join 'em. Who knows, you could have fun, while bonding with your dad all in one.

RMRaidersNumbah3 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:19

hAHAHA sounds like something i would do :P

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The Top

Today, I tried to host a “non-political” BBQ with extended family. Despite my best efforts to avoid politics being brought up, within 30 minutes someone brought up swing states, voter suppression, and deepfake campaign ads. The hamburgers were barely defrosted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 143

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 003

You deserved it 34 946

The Top

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 994

You deserved it 11 766

Today, I received the honorary title of "Student of the Month," because I'm the only quiet kid during class. Truth is, I just have no friends. I was given an award for being socially awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 807

You deserved it 2 515

Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 132

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 961

You deserved it 7 280

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 745

You deserved it 12 996

Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 481

You deserved it 23 487