Miscellaneous: Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready...

By Username - 04/04/2011 17:36 - United States

Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 298

You deserved it 44 536

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By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 17:08 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 256

You deserved it 1 559

By Chris - 03/04/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 653

You deserved it 4 132

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 544

You deserved it 21 358

Stage 1?

By Waterfalls - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 605

You deserved it 10 853

SO FRUSTRATING

By no one - 19/06/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 311

You deserved it 10 942

By ipayyourbillsgorramit - 24/08/2012 23:29 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 1 908

You're in the army now, oh ohoh

By Anonymous - 01/07/2020 17:03

Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 163

By M_Kclift1994 - 20/01/2010 23:19 - United States

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 716

You deserved it 8 485

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 899

You deserved it 11 471

GaryMuzz 4

Monday 4 April 2011 23:01

how about you man up and wake up on your own?

Tuesdays76 0

Monday 4 April 2011 23:02

Well GOOD MORNING! Why drink coffee when you can get smacked in the face with a Night Stand?

Comments

AnagenisisZagus 13

Monday 4 April 2011 23:11

Well, you are certainly awake now. I bet your nightstand purposely drew you towards it's wonderful exterior for a morning kiss. If you weren't such a prick on a daily basis, perhaps it would not have to be so forceful. Lesson learned, OP?

cbrix1132 0

Monday 4 April 2011 23:13

mornin sucka! hahaha

Iknoweverything 29

Monday 4 April 2011 23:14

Your dad needs to wake you up for school? TWICE? Maybe you should stop being a lazy brat and get up on your own. Then again, I might need you to flip burgers for me some day, so if you want to do that, by all means, let your dad baby you.

michaeluver0910 0

Monday 4 April 2011 23:17

I have to get up on my own and I'm in middle school! Suck it up and get up on ur own...

karlijn 4

Monday 4 April 2011 23:18

that's why i have an alarm..

jess6blondie9 2

Monday 4 April 2011 23:19

Not all people can afford alarms.

sam930 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 0:22

alarms cost like $5.

hiyourcute 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 1:43

Clearly the OP has an iPod/computer to get on FML, and you can set an alarm on either. Nice, 29

jess6blondie9 2

Tuesday 5 April 2011 7:46

Uh, thanks KaySL? As for the other two, not all people have $5 dollars to pay for an alarm clock. Good point about them being on the Internet though... Ha.

gracieroxursox 3

Monday 4 April 2011 23:19

Kay, I have to wake up at 6am to get to school on time, so stop whining.

michaeluver0910 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 0:01

I have to get up at 6:30am and I have an alarm clock. There r alarms out there for like $10 but mine was more cuz I have an iPod docking station. If u have an iPod you should get a docking station cuz it is soooooooooooo loud

jenaandtyler4eva 0

Monday 4 April 2011 23:19

ok well just move on and get over it and next time put ur alarm clock on!!!!

zeta24 0

Monday 4 April 2011 23:22

as soon as i wake up u get right out of bed to avoid tht issue. try it,op!

anonymous595 0

Monday 4 April 2011 23:25

hahaha yea :-)

AntoshaChekhonte 6

Monday 4 April 2011 23:33

Two words, OP: ALARM CLOCK They're smashing inventions! In fact, I usually set it about 25 minutes before I actually need to get up just so I can repeatedly hit the snooze button. Voila-- Daddy doesn't have to wake you up anymore and you can use the wonderful snooze feature that typically appears in them. And anyone who says they can't afford an alarm clock, stuff it. They might $10 at Walmart. Maybe less. Probably not more.