Miscellaneous: Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He...

By Anonymous - 14/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 340

You deserved it 2 667

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 27/12/2013 06:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 009

You deserved it 3 528

By stuckwithafamilyofcunts - 27/04/2013 20:23 - Spain - El Puig

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 655

You deserved it 3 680

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 833

You deserved it 2 134

Not a sponsored post

By nutfreak - 12/08/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 615

You deserved it 3 635

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 669

You deserved it 46 993

Call the cops!

By epipen life - 10/03/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 611

You deserved it 234

By birthdayboy - 19/06/2019 16:22

Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 151

All you can eat buffet of shit

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 98

Treat your pets properly!

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 19:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I had an argument with my dad about how Alpo dog food is trash and is why his dog keeps having terrible farts and diarrhea. My dad refuses to believe me, so now I'm always scrubbing vile, smelly, mucous-laden dog diarrhea out of the carpet. I'm a pet nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 174

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 969

You deserved it 3 987

Midrash 5

Friday 14 October 2011 18:55

I am surprise a guy like that was able to get laid

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 14 October 2011 19:48

I feel the same way about girl scout cookies.

Comments

Swiko 11

Saturday 15 October 2011 5:19

Being deathly allergic to peanuts myself, OP, I'd say your dad's an idiot. xD FYL.

cleifmastersix 3

Saturday 15 October 2011 6:08

chunky is like infinity times better more for you

Blipp25 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 6:16

Real men don't need to make sense. You'd better watch your shit and buy smooth next time

rdm2000mc2 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 7:22

u can be allergic to raw peanuts and not peanut butter!!!!!

SoulTermination 3

Saturday 15 October 2011 7:56

Makes perfect sense to me - my mother-in-law can't eat chunky peanut butter or any sort of nut without the inside of her mouth breaking out and her face swelling, but she can eat smooth peanut butter just fine. My sister-in-law is the same way with tomatoes - she can't eat raw tomatoes without a reaction, but she can have pizza and pasta sauce and nothing happens.

racq1999 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 7:57

Omg almost as blonde as me!:P

megachaos 3

Saturday 15 October 2011 8:28

You're a moron. Some people are allergic to the textures of things. I cant eat raw apples but can eat them any other way. Same for nuts. Learn something you gay ****. You're the one with the invalid argument

mandibreann1212 6

Saturday 15 October 2011 9:01

Is this language necessary? I think not...

Geasy 5

Saturday 15 October 2011 10:59

#93: And the molecular structure that causes allergies suddenly changes when peanuts are blended and smothed? I don't think so.

satph 12

Saturday 15 October 2011 8:59

LOL his argument may be valid but this fml is still hilarious!!

halfnhalf77 1

Saturday 15 October 2011 9:21

I actually had a bf that said tha same thing. He could only eat creamy peanut butter cuz he wuz allergic to peanuts. I tried to tell him it's all peanuts anyway he didn't understand. Smh. Fuckn idiot.