Education, Movies and Kids: Today, my daughter had a vocabulary assignment. She had to find...

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 00:33 - United States - Newton Center

Today, my daughter had a vocabulary assignment. She had to find five new words in books and movies. She was watching Shrek, so her first word was "thong". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 585

You deserved it 2 123

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Same thing different taste

Stumped

By walkingdictionary - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 755

You deserved it 37 203

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 444

You deserved it 16 963

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 21:56 - United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 3 822

By mylove - 01/05/2009 02:50 - United States

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 976

You deserved it 12 778

Language!

By angkal2002 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 3 438

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 369

You deserved it 71 864

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 556

You deserved it 2 601

By bleachingmykidsbrains - 01/07/2015 23:38 - Canada - Montréal

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 787

You deserved it 1 731

By JackieD - 25/08/2014 18:05 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 100

You deserved it 16 224

It's called fashion, Susan, look it up

By Ari - 08/09/2018 23:30

Today, my daughter couldn't find a hair tie and thought a piece of duct tape would be a perfectly fine substitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 869

You deserved it 378

tzemmy 25

Saturday 23 April 2016 20:22

Sometimes it's just great how many adult jokes are in kid movies.

Strawburryemma01 14

Saturday 23 April 2016 20:21

does she know what it means?

Comments

zykrithium 22

Sunday 24 April 2016 1:53

Get shrek'd

ulissey_fml 22

Sunday 24 April 2016 2:32

If she asks what it means, don't remain thong-tied just give her a brief explanation.

susubabe29 7

Sunday 24 April 2016 4:50

anddddddd that relates to Shrek how???

tomvertigo 17

Sunday 24 April 2016 5:15

Thongs can be sandals, just saying.

trucker2 33

Sunday 24 April 2016 5:44

Thank god it wasn't show and tell

Lunchy306 8

Sunday 24 April 2016 6:02

That's epic!

Blake77_fml 19

Sunday 24 April 2016 7:59

Atleast its not puss

fyl7899 12

Sunday 24 April 2016 11:56

Shrek is crap

nodai 13

Sunday 24 April 2016 16:12

Shrek also calls Donkey an ass in the movie AND book.

lilycups 11

Sunday 24 April 2016 19:15

And? Thongs are just flip flops to some people.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 90

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 128

You deserved it 3 083

The Top

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 927

You deserved it 5 001

Today, my landlord refused to send a plumber over to unclog the sink. Now he wants me to pay for water damages because he didn't call a plumber sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 626

You deserved it 291

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 065

You deserved it 9 076

Today, I realised that the steamy photos that I took with my ex a few months ago had not been erased from his father's camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 950

You deserved it 19 254

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 897

You deserved it 47 414

Today, I live an hour away from work, and asked my boss if I could work remotely as roads are closed due to a bad storm. He said no, I have to come in or lose a day's pay. I found out he is letting my coworkers work remotely and be paid. I've been with the company for 8+ years; my coworkers have been there ~2.5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 94

Same thing different taste

Stumped

Language!

It's called fashion, Susan, look it up

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