Kids: Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism...

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 227

You deserved it 7 103

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Same thing different taste

By dickhead - 10/04/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 170

You deserved it 3 395

Vandals

By Interpid traveler - 07/09/2021 05:01

Today, I was woken up by my wife calling the police because our garden had been ransacked during the night. A whole row of houses has had their plants uprooted, greenhouses broken into and garden tools stolen. The cops haven't found any leads and I feel terrible for my wife, who poured her heart and soul into that garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 89

By Anonymous - 29/04/2014 02:39 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 315

You deserved it 3 845

By bail? - 29/08/2019 23:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 181

By ilivealoneandwhatthefuck - 23/06/2013 17:02 - Guam - Yigo

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 293

You deserved it 4 336

A good thing? Really?

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 12:00

Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 1 351

Stitched up

By Busted - 26/07/2010 12:26 - South Africa

Today, I was woken up by the police pounding on my door, saying I was under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs, then plant them on my front lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 351

You deserved it 4 890

By nosestealer - 07/07/2013 21:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 476

You deserved it 9 866

Pants on fire

By Lucille - 07/09/2019 00:01

Today, while going through my daughter’s room, I found a pair of pants with the security tag still attached. My daughter is a thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 330

By icarlymom - 05/03/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, my 18 year-old daughter comes home, telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had iCarly Happy Meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 604

You deserved it 5 402

thegypsy 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 1:48

not the gnomes!!!

ThorneCrossed 9

Saturday 25 June 2011 1:55

I met a girl who actually had a sexual fetish for garden gnomes. I wouldn't mind being a gnome, she was cute. Jesus that sounded weird

Comments

debbielushious 6

Sunday 26 June 2011 2:12

how very well you have taught her.

roads 3

Sunday 26 June 2011 2:46

It's called Gnoming! How have you not heard of it?

LordGoober 13

Sunday 26 June 2011 2:52

No you don't sense a little jealousy, you sense alot of jealousy. You truly are one sexy mother ******.

lalalandohyeah1 4

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:13

gnomes scare me too! go daughter!

Erindub 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:17

What a ****. I love garden gnomes. I'd be pissed if someone stole mine!

jadejazmyn 5

Sunday 26 June 2011 5:46

Guess she doesn't like garden gnomes haha

lvlheaded 3

Sunday 26 June 2011 6:13

This should have been the ending to gnomeo and juliet: the gnomes being beaten to pieces by a girl with anger management issues...

Catsrhot 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 17:59

Wow holy **** not the gnomes!!

bizzylizzy 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 18:34

theres an actual phobia againts dolls and garden knomes. props to her :)

BigEyedOwl 1

Sunday 26 June 2011 23:44

sleep walking?

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The Top

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You deserved it 618

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The Top

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You deserved it 373

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You deserved it 18 104

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You deserved it 586

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You deserved it 502

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You deserved it 6 952

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You deserved it 356